The Collected Memoirs of an Insane Girl
by Kamitra
Summary: ...And that would be me. Naruko crossdressing. Life after death. Dreaming in another language. Stories I would not have the courage to write otherwise, I place here. Commonly NaruSasu. Ch.24&25 added - Gender confusion.
1. It Is The East

**The Collected Memoirs of an Insane Girl -- Introduction (revised version)  
**

Since I often write like I draw (that is, only some of the time), it just came to me now that I'd like to try what I've done in my drawings -- that is, try out different styles. These things range in setting, style, and it depends on my warped sense of imagination and humor. No matter what I said, when I use cliche I'll probably turn it into something unrecognizable. It's not really a drabble container -- they vary too greatly in style, purpose, length, and genre. Indeed, some of these are true oneshots (or twoshots). But the problem is that I lack the courage to place them down, so I put them here.

This is really my version of my own playground. Some of them are not completed, and if not, they probably never will. You could also call this my workshop, as since starting this, I've gained a lot of writing skills and perspective from such exercise and experience. I've also learned that I write very differently under caffeine from without caffeine.

And finally, any writer reading these is free to steal ideas from me. I don't care if you credit or tell me or not. Some of these are meant to break and rewrite cliche, or just in general, spawn more fic.

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**The Collected Memoirs of an Insane Girl**

Notes: Somewhat heavy on the description, lower on the humor. The quote is just because that's what occured to me when I was thinking of how literary Jiraiya's books might be. I happen to like these kinds of AU stories... if only because it's like reading more soap operas and romance novels... or something. Basically, who needs BL novels when you have fandom? And I've been itching to write something more romantic or at least angsty or pairing-like for a while now...

**Stage 01: むこうは東、とすればジュリエットは太陽。 (It is the East, and Juliet is the Sun!)**

"Take me now," he breathed as he lifted his arms up to his lover, to the face and the strong arms that held him close, to the one that he held him dear--

The voice that interrupted the scene was flat. "It's nice to see that you're having fun, little brother, but I would appreciate it if you kept your little fantasies to yourself."

Itachi had walked into his brother's room to see him lying on his bed on his stomach with his legs dangling over the edge/reciting/ the most famous lines from the first Icha Icha Paradise novel. It wasn't just that the boy seemed to be testing his drama skills out in the privacy of his room with questionable material (moreso in that he was underage), but that he was reciting them to his audience, Naruto, who was sitting on the floor with another copy, diligently? trying to follow along.

"It's not my fault! Kakashi is making me read this!" For lack of better explanation, that was true. Sasuke just couldn't find enough composure at being caught reading /Icha Icha Paradise/ (with Naruto, of all people), to say that it was really a joint effort between the two perverts, Jiraiya and Kakashi, to get Naruto to improve his reading skills. Sasuke, being who he was, was simply blackmailed into helping Naruto.

After the first several pages, awkward false starts, arguments, and all-out fights, the two boys worked out a system in the readings -- Sasuke would read one page, Naruto would read the next, and it would switch back. If there was anything Naruto couldn't understand, Sasuke would try his best to explain... as long as it wasn't perverted.

"Why is it called raiment? Why couldn't they just say clothes?" "How come the sky is always described as purple, when it's red?" "How come he's pouring his own drink? Why doesn't she pour his?" "What do flowers blooming have to do with her age?"

Apparently, there was a lot that Naruto didn't know, even at sixteen.

Of course, the scene that Itachi originally walked in on wasn't actually done in a man's role, but a woman's. It was just that Naruto couldn't imagine any /girl/ doing that sort of role with Sasuke reading out the main protagonist's lines like that. Sure, if you tilted your head sideways and had the lighting down low enough, he could look the part, but Sasuke always had the deeper voice... and Naruto wasn't about to stoop to acting out a girl's voice. So they both just used their normal range when reading it out loud. It helped that Sasuke had a pleasant voice to listen to.

Naturally, Itachi wasn't convinced and (almost) looked amused. "And he's the reason why you're wooing the object of your childhood crush with such... literature?"

"GET OUT OF HERE!"

There really wasn't much more that Sasuke could do besides scream and throw the book at the closing door. After all, Itachi knew even before Sasuke /himself/ did that he had always admired and adored the bright-haired boy. Still, as Sasuke was always a sourpuss and somewhat of a brat... it wasn't completely obvious. And to the point that Itachi wondered how they were even related, the youngest Uchiha had no finesse at all. Despite what he just said, the boy couldn't woo if his life depended on it. (It was a good thing it didn't, though.)

Still, Naruto was none the wiser as he ran off with the mumbled excuse that he needed to find out if Itachi knew where that one quote came from. Sasuke sighed as he picked the book off the floor and marked the appropriate page with a ribbon.

"Take me now."

"As the one that loves you, take me now..."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

The color purple, murasaki, is oftentimes used to describe a sunset. From what I read somewhere (I think it was in a _kogo jiten_), murasaki used to, in ancient times, refer to more of a reddish color.

The first version of the title came from Nakano Yoshio translation of Romeo and Juliet. The second version comes from the Odashima Yuushi translation version. Before you ask why, I've been collecting stuff on Romeo and Juliet, even though I've never been good with Shakespeare. I'm still looking for one of the companion reader kinds of things in English, telling all the notes and meanings of words. I'm hoping to mess around with a translation of Romeo and Juliet into classical, although it'd be more accurate to translate it into Genroku-period language. I'm rambling.


	2. Itachi Tales

Notes: A gakuran is the boy's uniform. Not the jacket and blazer type, but the other one with the buttons and collar.

None of these ficlets are related to each other. If they are, they will be numbered accordingly (such as 2a and 2b).

**The Collected Memoirs of an Insane Girl **

**Stage 02: Ginger Ales and Itachi Tails.. That's What Little Foxes Are Made of**

Sasuke, to say the least, was stunned.

"What the hell did you do with your hair?" was the only response he could think of as he kicked the edges of his skirt. Stupid uniform. Stupid perverted classmates and teachers.

"Heheh... doesn't it suit me?"

Naruko was wearing a gakuran, of course, as per the festival required, but her hair... was cut extremely short and /spiked/. Spiked. Sasuke tried to wrap his mind around that and failed several times. On the outside, it made her strong jaw and chin look more mascuilne than feminine and her dark skin give off a... different impression from what everyone was used to. If the stares of his classmates was anything to go by, Sasuke figured that at least no one would think the girl was some sort of wild go-girl now.

Now she would look like a he wearing a girl's uniform.

Sasuke, despite conventional opinion, wasn't quite crossdressing material either. No matter what his looks were like, it took extreme measures from his brother (the only one he trusted, really -- who knows what Ino or Sakura--or heaven forbit, Naruko--would do to his hair) to help tame his hair into something that /looked/ feminine. In the end, it required quite a few hair clips and ingenious designs to give it a playful, if radical, feel. He had grumbled the entire 3 hours it took to set up.

Sasuke turned away in disdain. "It does. Now at least your looks will match your words."

"Hey! At least mine match /now! If you were a girl I bet people would still think you were a girly-looking guy!"

A smirk. "Thank you."

"That's not a compliment!"

"Look, I know this isn't a torture session for you girls, Naruko, but couldn't you at /least/ give some consideration to those that have to suffer through this troublesome event."

Both eyes turned, and mouths dropped open.

Braids. Glasses. Skirt. Shikamaru.

If none of them hadn't seen Neji from the upper division already, they would have fainted by now.

"Yo, minna."

Instantly there was a chorus of protest and groans. And one screaming Naruko.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DRESS UP TOO!"

"That's not fair! Even Iruka-sensei dressed up... although I saw him in jeans and a blouse..."

"Well, I just thought that since women can wear anything they want, I can wear anything dressing as a woman as well?"

"YOU TRAITOR!" "LIAR! You just didn't want to have to do what Sasuke-kun did!" "Leave me out of this!"

"Well, speaking of Sasuke, did any of you have the chance to see Itachi-kun yet?"

Several shakes of a head. Itachi, while famous in Sasuke's class for picking him up after school everyday, was in the college division -- it wasn't surprising if no one had seen him.

"Oh well, then, nevermind, I guess."

Naruko blinked from her chokehold on Sasuke, who looked at her irritably. "Why?"

"Yes, why?" Sasuke wondered why they were making such a big deal of his brother, when they had Haku in the senior class. He had already seen Naruko talking to him, who, of all things, was wearing overalls and a t-shirt. "Don't I look more like a boy now?" he had said as he tied up his hair. The girls around them had agreed that Haku could wear anything and look feminine, so it would be best if he wore something more masculine.

"Oh, it's a feeling I have."

Sasuke looked suspiciously at that, but said nothing.


	3. History Repeats

Notes: I have no idea what the heck I just wrote. I think I just might want to work further on the AU I just started with this, though. But chances are, I'll never get around to it. Haha.

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**Stage 03: History Repeats Only Once**

Amefuri looked to the side, where the jagged surfaces of the cliff seemed to make the shape of a face. Squinting, she threw a rock at it.

"Hey! Don't do that," the man protested.

Amefuri frowned. "Why? What's the big deal?"

"I'll tell you what's the big deal... there used to be faces carved on the face of this cliff. They aren't here anymore, but I don't want to see anyone defacing them... although I did that too..." the last part was almost mumbled.

Amefuri turned again and tried to see such huge faces like the man described. The only thing she could see was the small face that she had imagined earlier.

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"I got you! I went and asked Sensei about the faces, and she said that they didn't have them even before _she_ was born! You're just making all those things up!" Tomite yelled as he climbed up the mountain again. Once again, the man smiled and fiddled with his stick.

"I didn't make anything up! They just weren't there _that_ soon ago. This is really ancient history we're talking about."

"Is the story about Sound and Leaf ancient history too?"

"Of course."

"Why is everything about ancient history? That's all fairytale stuff..."

"Well, I could talk about recent history too, if you think that's more real..."

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"What about the earthquake that happened last week? That was really terrible."

The man's smile went lopsided. "That's not history... that's news."

Then he looked away into the face of the cliff. "But didn't they know better than to build such tall buildings around here? Ever since the war and search for the hosts, this area hasn't quite been the most stable. About every 50 years a huge earthquake happens and..."

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"...And that's why it's important to learn more about your history! As a friend of mine said once, 'No matter how much of an idiot you may be, experience will make all the difference.'"

Iruka huffed and turned away. "Well I'm not an idiot, so I don't see what difference it'll make."

The man hit the boy on the head with his stick. "That's not the point. The point is that you can avoid making the same mistakes as others if you know what they did wrong."

"But things are different now," was the stubborn reply.

"And they will continue to be. But there are some things that never really change." the man smiled softly, then pointed his stick at him. "Like your attitude. I swear it'll be the death of you one day, just like someone else I knew once."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Subaru looked up at the man. "Well, what about the other kids that you've talked to before? You said you've done this for a long time."

"Well, I guess there was one kid that had the same name as my favorite teacher, who was like my father, but had the attitude of my best friend... who was quite an ass."

"Is that like reincarnation?"

The man looked surprised. "Where do you kids learn words like that? I didn't even hear of that until I turned 20... well, nevermind. But no, it's not reincarnation. I don't believe in it, as much as I wish I did."

"Why not?

The man looked to the sky again. "That's because everyone is different, and they deserve to live their own life."

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"How old are you?"

The man looked at the little girl with huge white eyes. "You don't even know my name and you're asking my age? Geez."

"Adults don't see you, but they talk about you like one of your stories. I heard your stories from my cousin since I wasn't old enough before to come here."

"Wait wait wait, how old are _you_?"

"I'm five."

"..." The man put his hand to his forehead. "You geniuses are going to be the death of me."

"...So how old are you?"

"Didn't anyone ever teach you manners before reading? No wait, kids like you come out once every generation. I remember now." The man sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I'm younger than the highest number you can count, but way older than the oldest person you know. So what's your name, kid?"

"What's your name?"

"_Now_ you ask. Well, I asked first, so you could at least..."

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"My name's Hyuuga Sousuke! Nice to meet you!"

The man seemed to blink before taking the offered hand. "Ah, nice to meet you... You're a Hyuuga? That's hard to believe..."

"Why?"

The man seemed to consider a bit before shaking his head. "Well, I guess times change... and it's not like bloodlines mean anything so much anymore."

"Yeah they do."

The man blinked at the fierce look in the boy's eyes then grinned, scratching his head. "Well, ignore the words of an old ghost..."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Why do they call you a ghost? I can see you... and you even eat my lunch sometimes."

The man stared at the sky. "Well, that's because no one can find me whenever they want to. And I don't really like to talk to adults, so I avoid them."

"Why?"

"Because they don't ask questions becuase they're curious; they ask questions to get the answers they're looking for. And some people grow up too quickly." The last bit was said with a wistful smile.

Honey looked at the grass around them. "...Do you think he heard you?"

The man blinked and looked at the girl. "What?"

"The man you wanted to say those words to. Do you think he heard you?"

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"Okay, now I've heard everything. I've met budding psychics, geniuses, kids with wisdom more than their grandmothers, and now I've met a kid onmyouji. What's next?"

Subaru shuffled his feet as he stared at the man. "You do not believe me?"

"Oh I believe you. Trust me, I do."

"Then why do you not want to be exorcised?"

"That's because I'm not a ghost."

"But you are... even your aura, no matter how real you look and feel, shows that you are a ghost."

The man sighed, and stuck out his hands. "I'm going to pay for this, but what the heck. Prove it."

The boy slapped an incantation strip on his hands and chanted something, and all went black.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"...to. Naruto!"

The boy shifted in his sleep, unknowingly putting doodles on his picture of the mount of the four hokages. The owner of the voice sighed. "Usuratonkachi. If you can spell the word 'reincarnation' properly in time for the next spelling quiz, I'll give you ten extra points."

"Iruka-sensei, that's r-e-i-n-c-a-r-n-a-t-i-o-n. Reincarnation."

Sasuke blinked, and turned to his aide, Sakura, who shrugged helplessly. "Well, besides getting your teacher's name wrong, I guess you won your ten points. Hinata, just make sure he gets his vocabulary list when he wakes up. Class dismissed!"

Everyone ran out the door as if there was free pizza that day. Which could have been possible -- it was just so rare that their teacher let them out of class so early.

As always, Shikamaru from the upper division came into the room with lunch. "What'd he do this time?"

Sakura concentrated on erasing the chalkboard while Sasuke looked up from his gradebook. "Surprisingly enough, nothing. Except somehow know the name of my adopted father, get the spelling of this week's extra credit word correct, and forget my own name."

"I could almost think that he did it on purpose."


	4. Boys are Puppies

Notes: The last one wasn't humorous, I know. This one isn't quite related to the last one, but... you know what? I'm just going to number these by the way I write them. A lot of times I start something... and I never finish it. They will be out of order, but at least you'll get an idea of how many I end up skipping... and it's easier on my filing system to do this.

Yay, AU's are fun.

**Stage 05: Boys Are Like Puppies; They Get Into Everything (And You Love Them For It)**

The boy with blue eyes peeked up at him as Sasuke tried to concentrate on correcting the latest quiz papers. He did pretty well, until eventually the stare became too much and he sighed, stopping his pencil for a short bit. Even then, he didn't bother to look up -- it would just encourage him. Which he really didn't need.

"When are you going to be done with that?" It was almost a whine, but also tinged with curiosity. Almost like a little kid, Sasuke thought.

"Not anytime soon. When are you going to be done with your homework? I know you have it -- it's due at the end of this week. That's tomorrow, if you can't see the calendar."

He couldn't see the pout, but he could certainly hear it in his voice. "I'm done already... I just need to... kinda sorta complete it..."

"You can't call that done." Sasuke's didn't even bother to sound upset. It was the same thing, after all. Every single time, every single class. It was a wonder that Naruto didn't actually fall behind, especially considering that this wasn't the easiest school to get into. He had to have studied like crazy to pass the entrance exams... which at least spoke for dedication and commitment.

Except now Naruto seemed to be focused more on watching him grade papers than actually studying. Sasuke sighed irritably as he looked up to see the eager face of Naruto staring at him. "If you're not done, what are you doing here? Don't you have a store to shoplift or something?"

Naruto made a face. "I may get in trouble all the time, but it's not like I /steal/ or anything, geez."

He sounded offended and hurt. Sasuke ignored it as he marked more papers, although he did admit with a grimace that it was uncalled for. It wasn't like Naruto was a bad kid or anything... just... rambunctious. Still, he trusted that his most unusual and troublemaking student would just forget about it, like the umbrella he never seemed to remember on even the rainiest of days.

The only noises that were heard for a while was the sound of papers shuffling and pen scribbles.

Until... "Congratulations, you got a 41 out of 50."

Naruto beamed like sunshine. "I've had a great teacher!"

Sasuke snorted and looked back at the rest of the papers, dampening the effect. "With how much I've been helping you, you shouldn't even be getting anything lower than an A. And I know Hinata's been coaching you too... as well as Sakura. How can you get a B with an A student, the teacher's aide, and even the /teacher/ tutoring you? I guess it proves that with enough training, even a monkey can learn to talk."

That was probably the real reason why Naruto didn't get held back any. Naruto practically lived at school, with how much he was getting tutored. In all classes. With Math, it was with Shikamaru and Kiba. In Japanese, it was Jiraiya and Hinata (again) helping him out.

Physical Education was the only one he didn't have any trouble with, but considering how hard it was to keep up his grades, Naruto didn't have the luxury of joining any of the clubs. So here he was, pestering Sasuke like he did every other day, hoping to get a free meal for his troubles.

"Hey! I'm not /that/ bad! I just don't get all this English stuff... thatandIkeepgettingdistractedandstuff..."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "By what?"

Naruto didn't answer that... instead, he was quiet. Sasuke paid this no heed, even if it looked like he was chewing on something difficult. He didn't wonder what the problem was, either -- it wasn't like Naruto could stay shut up for too long anyway. Best to enjoy the silence while it lasted.

Until finally, three minutes later:

"_If you finished, how about dinner?_"

It wasn't an unexpected question. Naruto only asked for dinner from his favorite (or so he claimed) teacher, Uchiha Sasuke, every other day... which was every single day that he wasn't over someone else's house or in another classroom getting tutored. And if Sasuke was tutoring him that day, then all the more opportunity for a free meal. It was almost tradition by this point.

"_If you are finished_," Sasuke corrected. "And no I'm not finished. And no, I'm not going to feed you dinner. Again."

"What? Come on, you can try to teach me English! It's like extra credit work!"

"Naruto, that's the lamest excuse I've ever heard. I teach Advanced English, not Elementary Grammar. Not unless you want to learn how to read a newspaper article during dinner, you're not going to get any extra credit points for free food."

"Come on, _buy me dinner... please_?"

Sasuke repressed a twitch and scribbled more notes on a paper. "Why do I have to treat you? You should be treating me for putting up with you."

"But you're old! Like 22 or something! So you have to treat me!"

"I'm not old! That's only five years older than you!"

"But that's so far awayyyy..."

"You're seventeen, not seven! At least act like it! And you're the one asking me out, for crying out loud!"

Sasuke opened his mouth again, then stopped, until finally hurriedly putting all his papers together, trying to hiding a slight flush. Luckily for him, Naruto had simultaneously decided suddenly that he wasn't sure if his shoelaces were tied correctly. The uncomfortable silence went on for several more minutes, until Naruto seemed to have decided that awkward silence wasn't enough and had to prod the question again.

"...So you're buying me dinner, right?"

"Only if you promise to eat all your vegetables."

"What! No way!"

Despite the avid protesting, Sasuke bought Naruto dinner again, just like he did every other day of the week.


	5. Distance

A/N: I wrote this after writing a waka, of all things, on Naruto. Then in a bout of caffeine, I decided, hey, let's write a full short story, Ise-style and everything. Considering I lack enough experience and talent to write the actual waka that accompany this story, you'll have to use your imagination. There are many elements that may not be understood about this story, but I hope you enjoy it anyhow, and if possible, try to check out The Tales of Ise. I tried to keep the same kind of grammar and storytelling used in the tales. NaruSasu.

Another fun thing about this story is that I leave it untitled and I'd probably write "anonymous" for the author if I could, because it usually just means that they can't name the author, despite knowing who it is.Yes, they usually are this short.

**Stage Unknown: Untitled  
**

Once there was a boy that thought of another but the recipient of those feelings, another boy, did not accept them. Moreover, the boy went away to become stronger, leaving his friends and country behind, even when they tried to stop him.

To become strong enough to bring the other back, the boy went travelling across the country and learned many things. Throughout this, the boy thought of his friend and rival. One day, he wrote:

Even through travelling  
Among trees and deserts  
Does the wind of my thoughts reach you  
Or are you someplace now  
Not even dreams can touch

The poem was then hidden underneath the boy's pillow. The boy's teacher found it one day and sent through some unknown means but, ultimately, it did not reach the other boy's hand.


	6. Irasshaimase, Narutokun

Notes: This is actually important. Read it.

This is also something Yunyun and I cooked up (a long time ago, as you can tell by the stage number). 'Cause it's me, imagine that it's NaruSasu. Unfortunately, I can't pin down all the scenes that I want to do, so maybe I can write a few more ones on this universe. I won't say what it's based on because that would be giving it away. It's just that obvious. Now if I could only make Sasuke do the PACHIIN, my anime life would be complete and I'd gain godlike powers and somehow get Nontan and Suwabe Junichi in the same studio swapping lines. And then the phrase, "Ore-sama no Sharingan ni yoi na" would become golden. Uh, no, the phrase isn't my idea... it's Nidaime-sama's, which... yeah. Is home to one of the most excellent cracks... but in Japanese, so nevermind. And yes, I'm high.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
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**Stage 06: Ichiraku's Waitress-in-Training, AKA How Naruto Became Enslaved to Uchiha Itachi  
**

"Welcome."

Neji made a "harumph" sound as he turned his back. "It's the dropout." The guy in red next to him nodded in agreement. The one in the center simply... smirked at him, while right behind him softly uttered a warning. "Even if he is from class D, he has the personal ear of the Hokage. Don't underestimate him."

After that was "the famous couple," the blond knew as Haku and Zabuza, who smiled and waved (well, at least Haku did).

The one in the center stood up, still smirking, almost /floated/ over to him, causing him to back up into the door. He had just wanted to find the nearest hot water vendor for his ramen, and he gets this! The look in his eyes, the smile, the whispering in his ear... wait, what whispering! Did he just say something? What was it?

"...t's your pleasure?"

Deep, throaty... Naruto almost had a heartattack.

It was him... whom he knew very well -- even though he didn't want to. Uchiha Sasuke. He and Sasuke rarely exchanged words, but when they did it was always a prelude to a fight. Still, everyone knew him, and Naruto was no exception. Although... even if he did get a few seconds of his valuable time in that way, it was hard for Naruto to see much of The Prince (as they called him), as he was always surrounded by fangirls. (Naruto could have muttered something about girls and no taste, but the last time he did he missed a week of class.) And so... it wasn't like he had ever seen him like /this/.

"You can stop seducing your classmate now, Sasuke."

Sasuke barely looked away, but his voice turned back into the flat and uninterested thing that Naruto recognized. "I'm on duty. It's my job, isn't it, _dear_ brother?"

Naruto relaxed for a second, then realized what he said. Brother? That could only mean that the oldest-looking one (besides Zabuza) was Itachi... who Naruto would rather put as much distance between him and himself as possible. Unfortunately, Sasuke had him pinned to the door, so even if he slid down...

...Whoops.

Naruto's world broke then, leaving him vulnerable to the worst that had yet to come. This, however the previous statments suggest, was not actually caused by Sasuke. Well, actually it was directly.. or indirectly, depending on your point of view, but it wasn't _directly _directly caused by him. That is, the irrepairable change in Naruto's life was not signified by the one he swore was asexual trying to feel him up, no, it was more sinister than that.

Though Naruto thought Sasuke was plenty sisnister, thankyouverymuch.

A vase lay shattered on the marble tiling.


	7. Otsukaresama, Narutokun

Notes: Continuation of previous chapter. Uploaded together. I think one can tell the kind of influence I gained with this piece, from several wonderful authors. Again, like drawing in that I tend to get pretty influenced by the things I love most. 3 Later Notes: I wish I could continue this, but I did this on a moment... under some sort of drug influence, it seems. The most I can do is apparently wrap this up. My apologies, but I will **_not_** be expanding on this. If any writers are interested in stealing ideas, go right ahead. If any of this crap becomes cliche, it'd be awesome times ten or something. Don't ask about the Japanese. It's a joke.

As if it's not obvious already, this is based off of _Ouran High School Host Club_. More like a fusion.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**Stage 06-B: Tsukareta-tteba desu... Otsukare-sama, Naruto-kun!**

"Here's your order, ladies... believe it," Naruto said with a friendly smile as he easily placed the glasses down on the table, just as Sasuke showed (rather, pounded into) him. The girls smiled easily back, taken with the simple expression, and it would have been perfect if... if...

His cup wobbled a little and hit the table with a little _clink_.

There it was again. The touch that ghosted up his side and softly but firmly grasped his elbow from behind as Sasuke leaned over him to give the girls a look. Naruto couldn't tell, since all he could feel was the hair and... was that his chin on his neck?

It tickled, kind of.

"If I may interrupt you... ladies? I need... Naruto's... _assistance_ with another matter..." an extra brush with his thumb and Naruto felt shivers go down his spine. Scary.

Despite that, squeeing and feverent denials met his request.

It wasn't like you could call it sexual harrassment -- more like just plain harrassment. Because this was a host club that catered to the rich... and the fangirls. As soon as they closed up shop, Sasuke would stop everything and turn back to his same-old antisocial self, no matter how hard Naruto tried to keep him at least a little open. Still, Naruto didn't give up and Sasuke would never do any such thing if... well, Naruto wasn't too sure if the thing with his older brother was faked or not, but he didn't really feel like asking... or finding out the hard way.

Yeah, definitely not. Oh, and speaking of asking, Sasuke would always run him through every single error that Naruto performed during work. As if extra training was going to make him a better host.

"It wouldn't be so hard if you weren't trying to feel me up every single time!" Naruto yelled back during his first trial run.

"Hmph. If you can't perform even under distraction, what good are you as a host to this place?"

"Why do I have to even be a host to this stupid place! Sure I want the attention, but these girls are nuts! I don't want to be your plaything... or _anyone's_ plaything!"

Sasuke had narrowed his eyes and leaned over, almost switching into what Naruto began to call "On Sasuke." On Sasuke was Work Sasuke. Off Sasuke was the normal Sasuke that Naruto knew and loved... well, not really, but you get the point. It sure as hell beat the other one... and that was saying something.

On Sasuke was scary. That's all there was to it. On Sasuke did all sorts of things Off Sasuke would never do even if you stole his money, humiliated him in front of him in front of the entire school, dared him into jumping into a river with only man-eating fish inside... wait, what was he saying? Anyway, Off Sasuke was nice... relatively. If you counted him being a bastard no matter which version it was as nice. On Sasuke would attack him in a random dark alleyway and do all sorts of unclean and... and... Jiraiya-worthy like things to him!

For his own safety, when Sasuke was in that mode, Naruto tried to make any sudden moves... smooth, like a cat, or a deer... just in case... yeah. In this case, he was backing off to the side as easily as possible... which was pretty difficult when Sasuke's face was in the way.

"And who was it that broke the vase that embodied the debt of the Godaime? And who said that he could work it off on his own?"

"And I could! So let me work!"

"I am. Working part-time during school is not allowed, after all. So this is your only option... _slave_."

And it kind of degenerated from there, but that was how it kind of went. So every week he subjected himself to various forms of torture under Sasuke (and Itachi's) tutelage, hoping to work of his (previously baba's) debt. He entertained the host club's guests (nice term for customers -- Gaara's idea), ran errands (Itachi's), and overall tried to see if he could entertain AND be a nuisance at the same time (Zabuza's & Sasuke's).

"My dear cute but still very foolish little brother. I think you've been spending long enough staring at your supposed rival and not-so-secret crush and not accomplishing anything. Your guests are starting to get restless."

At that point, several things happened. First, Naruto realized that during this entire narration he had spaced out, thinking of his past, while Sasuke was holding him close. It looked almost like a private conversation... except that neither of them were talking. Second, it wasn't Sasuke's hands on his shoulders or the look in The Prince's eyes that caused him to blush, but realizing that his own hand was somehow resting on Sasuke's waist. Third, the girls, as far as Naruto could see, didn't look bored at all. A few seemed to have hearts in their eyes and some just sighed. One fainted. And finally, Sasuke had finally snapped out of it and was now looking rather put-out at his brother's comment... but more cute, like a little kid.

"Hmph. They can stay there. They're not going anywhere... and I need Naruto to run an errand for me." The last was almost flat, like Off Sasuke, but more pouty. It was like Sasuke had MPD or something, always having fits and changing his mood and stuff. In fact, Naruto wouldn't put it past this moody younger brother of the creepy Uchiha Itachi to have multiple personality disorder.

If Jiraiya's work was legal, Tsunade _still_ not in jail for her debt, and Naruto enslaved to this insane club to pay for a stupid vase, then Sasuke HAD to have multiple personality disorder. And that would explain Sasuke's so-called-crush-as-stated-by-Itachi. Perfect logical sense. In fact, it made so much sense that even Itachi actually _balked_ when this became this reason was expressed for the cliche angst when the story really began to turn NaruSasu instead of SasuNaru like you'd think it would be... but nevermind. That's later.


	8. Jukai no Ito

Notes: This is kind of like my personal fun for all those fics out there. You might know what I'm talking about, might not. It doesn't really matter. And because I need to do something surreal for every single series I write for. The title is after the song "Jukai no Ito," by Cocco. Serious. No, my Japanese isn't perfect, but I've read enough that I have confidence in these lines. It's not AU at all, so it actually shouldn't be here... but eh.

Theme: "Even if you can or cannot understand... it doesn't make a difference. There are things you can't change, there are things you can do without ever doing anything at all, and then there are those that lie between the two. That space is known as fate."

**Stage 11: Thread Through the Deep Forest**

It was raining sakura petals like the water poured in June. Like tears.

Naruto looked at the boy across from him. They were sitting at a table at a restaurant while Sasuke stirred his coffee with a straw. He had added strange sugar cubes that looked like faces. He then stirred them, and the shapes of the faces seemed to twist like taunts, prophecy, and denial.

"What are you doing, bastard? I thought you hated sugar."  
_"Aa, kirai da. Fukushuusha dakara koso kirai na mono o nomikomu."_

Sasuke didn't seem to look up from his mug. He seemed to look more at what was outside the window than him or his coffee. As if he didn't want to think about it. Naruto looked at the coffee, then at the storm of spring outside.

"What about Sakura-chan? I thought you didn't like her."  
_"Kirai wake ja nee. Uzai dake da. Betsu ni nan tomo omawanai sonzai da."_  
"That's... kind of sad."  
Sasuke's expression continued to be blank.

Naruto looked down at his own cup. It was water. Not clean and clear like that from a mountain spring, but filled with chemicals and loneliness. It made it drinkable. Laughter decorated the edge of the rim of his glass as he took a swig. Sasuke snorted.  
_"Usuratonkachi."_

Naruto looked up and saw Sasuke now touching his face, his hair somehow darker than before and his eyes lighter. His expression was no longer expressionless, but perhaps something closer to... peaceful. Naruto blinked as something happened. It was as if...

_"Omaera... wakatte'nee na. Akirame wa... ore no kachi da."_  
"I don't understand."  
_"Kodomo no mama da na, Naruto."_

Sasuke seemed almost to sigh, and put his hand back down, his focus back down on his coffee. He was about to take another sip of it when Naruto reached for it, and knocked over his own glass of water. The puddle of water seemed to show the faces of various people, from Jiraiya to Neji. The glass fell over onto the ground. Naruto couldn't tell if it cracked, landed with a thud, or shattered upon impact. He knew there was sound, but for some reason, he could only make out Sasuke's ever-quiet voice.

Naruto growled under his breath. He was almost out of it... He knew it already, because then he would... and then... Sasuke would be gone. This would be the only time he could say this to him... but for some reason...

A sigh.  
_"Mou ittaro. Hipparu na, dobe. Ii kagen ni kaere yo."_  
"I'm not even here! How can I even slow you down when I'm not here, when I can't even see you!"  
_"...Dekiru n'daro. Ano tondemo nai dekee koe to chakra de."_

Then the picture shifted, and Naruto knew he ran out of time.

Naruto pounded on the table, almost overturning the table in his anger... frustration... desperation... even. Sasuke still seemed to be blank. He didn't know and didn't care. Or maybe he knew the words that would come out of his mouth already. Or maybe he didn't, and was hiding it.

Or it wasn't a table at all. Like they were on a field of grass, tall grass, and Sasuke was facing away, or he was looking at the sky... looking for the lightning and red sky... And at the waterfall. The water seemed to overflow over his feet and... the sand, the bandages, the wind at night blew over, almost taking away his voice--

"I won't give up! I'll never give up! I'll bring you back, no matter what you say or do!"  
He screamed, trying to be heard over the roar of images and pain. They were flashing so fast that even though Naruto couldn't feel the pain, he thought it almost _could_ be.  
And then, their voices seemed to blend together. Almost as if they were saying the same line, both in dreams, and both in reality. As if this were more than just a figment of his imagination.

_"I... you... still..."_  
"...never learn, usuratonkachi. It's because you're here that I can't go back."


	9. Sometimes Stupid

Notes: More on the reincarnation theme, taking it a bit further... also inspired by Natsu-sama's (doujinshi artist) most recent comic. And for those wondering, he's been calling him that ever since he met him, hence the title. I HAVE to write a sequel to this. Really.

I wrote these two so quickly that I threw up the first one even before I edited it. Eheh. Sorry. So now it's edited... and I added a few things.

**Stage 12: Sometimes You're Dumb, and Sometimes You're Stupid**

I have a gift that I don't tell anyone about. It's not like it's a secret or anything, but somehow, it's a gift that was given to me as a consolation prize. Perhaps it was for not being able to become a ghost and see what happened in the end... I get to see the epilogue. Of my death, I mean.

My gift is to be able to see people's past lives.

It's not just anyone's lives. It looks like they're people that I had contact with in my previous life, but I don't really know. I don't really know who I used to be, except when I see the others. The closer they are to me, the more I find out about myself. But even when they're not that close to me, I see a little bit of my own reflection when I see them. It's like almost like looking into a mirror and dreaming of another face in it. Another life, another existence. It's not too much of a big deal, but it's like my own personal... hobby, for lack of a better term.

Maybe "spiritual fulfillment" if I'm feeling generous.

Take that girl sitting down at that cafe for example. She's talking with her friend and waving a pencil around -- probably about schoolwork or something. It's like her to still be caught up about school. I don't know who she is now, but I know that she used to be "Sakura", a girl with pink hair. They don't look anything alike -- her hair is dyed brown and her school uniform is dark blue and white. Her friend across from her is looking at something through her phone... they're probably good friends, though the other girl isn't "Ino." I had met "Ino" earlier -- her mother, if you can believe it.

I don't know how I recognize them either. Their ages are never even the same.

It's always sudden, but it's never at the first meeting that I realize who they are... or rather, who they used to be. (Actually, the exception to that was "Sai", who I recognized at first glance. Which is strange, since, again, they look nothing alike.) It's not like a memory and it's not like a dream. It's just more like a realization... and it makes me happy to find everyone that used to be in my life. And they never look anything like who they used to be... but somehow, they almost _feel_ similar. I don't know -- it could just be my impression.

No one recognizes me, and they all lead very different lives from before. I meet them almost randomly -- around town, or even once, online. They don't look the same, they don't act the same, and yet... I recognize them as people from "Kyuubi's" life. (I call myself "Kyuubi" for that life, since it's the only name I can remember.)

I learned not to confront them after I had met "Kakashi." He was an architect from overseas that came to our school when I was back in junior high. I managed to corner him one day... and found out that he remembered nothing. Instead of feeling dejected though, I was happy, somehow. I was so sure that he'd remember... and come to find out that my former teacher had finally let go of his past. I found out that he was also married in this life... and he sends me pictures of his family every Christmas.

He always looks happy, but I'm sure he has troubles in this life too.

I won't go into everyone's changes, although "Tsunade" is my family doctor. (I guess she wanted to keep her profession.) Yeah, I have a family now... and even a little brother, who's still in Elementary school. I really adore him, even despite who he used to be. Although, I didn't know that I didn't have a family in my previous life until I met "Iruka." He was a salaryman that was part of the volunteer fire drills around my neighborhood. Despite how close he was, I didn't meet him until I was in high school.

These things happen unexpectedly.

Speaking of high school... I thought I was going nuts. The girl I had a crush on, who was also the class representative, was none other than "Hinata," the shy girl that would make weird faces at me. It wasn't until that I found out that she liked someone else did I realize this, though. It was messed up... and I was kind of out of it for a while. Her name is now Watanabe Mariko. She's still really nice, though. Everyone looked up to her, including me.

The biggest one, though, happened to me when I was in college. I was at the dorm with some buddies when I just remembered that I had promised to go over an assignment with my best friend from high school, Morino Kenji. (He's actually in the Arts and I'm in Sciences but we have one class together this semester -- English.) When I finally ran back over to the library, I found him easily. It's not hard to miss a mess of red hair and freckles. And then he looked up and suddenly, I realized who my best friend for all these years really _was_.

"You're 'Sasuke'," I whispered, dumbstruck. He simply smiled back.  
"Of course I am, _usuratonkachi_."

I still haven't learned what my name was.


	10. Sometimes Surprising

Notes: The Sequel. Why is he taking English? Maybe it's an advanced class and he's getting back credit. By now you've all figured out that this NaruSasu stuff so I really shouldn't have to repeat myself. All the names used in the previous chapter were fictional. Naruto's name is Takayori. (You'll notice this is never mentioned.) Yes, that's made up too. His attitude is quite different in this one... actually, partially because he kept his memory, while no one else did. Well, Orochimaru might remember, but he'd probably be in junior high or kindergarten or something and... yeah, don't mind me.

I try to keep the names of the stages similar so that way everyone can tell immediately if they're reading something related to another stage.

**Stage 12-b: Sometimes You Surprise Me, but Sometimes I Wish You Would**

When I first met him, I knew who he was. He didn't seem to recognize me at all, which I figured was not much of a surprise.

We each got a wish the moment before we were born, and my wish was to remember _us_. For a long while, I thought we weren't really meant to be in this lifetime, since he was nothing like the idiot he was before. He was actually rather bright, as much as I didn't want to admit it at first. It got to the point where I'd have to ask _him_ for help on my biology homework, to which he would just smile. No gloating, no frown -- just a smile. And after the third time that happened, I knew I had fallen for him again.

It was like falling in love with someone else... and yet the same one as before. He didn't even have the yellow hair or eyes -- he looked like a normal Japanese boy -- straight black hair, dark brown eyes. I didn't even know how I recognized him... but when I met him, I knew it was what I had wished for.

I knew I didn't look the same either -- my dad was half-Japanese from the US, while my mom was born and raised here. As a result, I had red hair and blue eyes... and freckles. I didn't care too much for the freckles, but at least I didn't have girls falling for me left and right. It made things easier.

At first, I was sure that he didn't recognize me. And then one day he called the class rep "Hinata." When I _looked_ at him, he tried to laugh it off, saying that it was like a nickname or something, but I knew better. I didn't know if the girl really was Hinata or not until much later, however. In any case, my suspicions were doubled when he let me visit his house one day. I met his little brother, who was about four years old at the time. "I call him something else, sometimes," he said once. "It's like his nickname." Nickname or not, thinking of his little brother as _that_ was disturbing.

But after that, I was a regular visitor at his place and I got used to it. You can get used to almost anything in this life, after a while, I guess. He really was adorable, although really serious. He actually reminded me of myself, "before." I taught him a few simple card games that my father had taught me, like Go Fish. In the middle of a game, he asked me something strange, though.

"Why do you always call niisan usuratonkachi and not his name?"  
I thought about how to answer that.  
"Well, you know how you have a nickname?" A nod. "Well, he has one too -- but he doesn't know it yet. And I don't want to accidentally call him by that."  
"What is it?"  
"Hmm... can you keep it a secret?"  
And eager nod. He even made me do the pinky joining -- all with a serious face. He really was adorable.  
"His name is Naruto, Itachi-kun."

I found out later that he really did keep his promise, because months after that fateful day in the library, he asked me what his name was.  
I refused to tell him.

It wasn't for any specific reason like power or anything, but like the fact that my previous older brother was now the cute kid that Naruto doted on, I figured that the past really didn't matter much anymore. The only reason why we remembered now... was because we had wanted to. It was almost like our lives now settled our ghosts from before... and the name Naruto, I thought, didn't mean anything for him.

Getting back to high school, though -- we graduated easily enough -- my grades weren't spectacular and his were good -- and we somehow (hah) made it into the same college. Actually it was partially luck on my part and partially manipulation that we got into the same college. I convinced him that he could get into an internship instead of a club for college... but if he really wanted to play a sport, this was the best way to go. We somehow managed to stay in contact, meeting up almost every single week or even every other day at some points, despite having two completely different majors.

In the third week of the fifth semester (we were twenty by this time) that everything suddenly changed. It was around that time that I was thinking about whether or not I would _ever_ tell him my feelings, when he finally remembered me. I didn't know how he could have... until I found out why (he explained right after that), and then I simply didn't know how he _didn't_. I had been calling him names the entire time and he didn't even _remember_ me! He actually remembered _Kakashi_ and _Itachi_ before he remembered me!

The first few weeks after that were rough, to say the least.

Would we keep the same "relationship" as before, or would we still just be friends?

"Actually, there is one thing you kept in looks," he said one day, walking to class.  
"And what would that be?" I asked in a disinterested voice.  
He grinned and whispered in my ear, "You're still cute when you blush."  
I gave him a _look_. "Stop trying to harrass me."  
"I'm not harassing you; I'm just telling the truth."

A lifetime ago I would have thrown something at him, but now, as we argued, I figured maybe, just maybe, this future might turn out the same way as before. For _us_, anyway.


	11. Dog Whisperer

Notes: Just something fun to read. The usual "post Sasuke retrieval" plot. Not intended to be continued.

-

**Stage 16: The Dog Whisperer, Haruno Sakura**

This generation was just too strange for words. It had been months since they managed to bring the brat back (albeit unwillingly, it seemed), and -- there was no other way to describe this -- but her two favorite chuunin /adored/ him. Tsunade sighed. Times really had changed. Back in her day, if you betrayed the village they would just kill you, but with Naruto around, it seemed like those days were over.

To be more fair about it, Sasuke put up with the pampering rather well. Perhaps it was the way that Sakura had helped with the furnishing and remodeling, how Naruto brought Sasuke things to keep himself occupied with, or how both were never explicitly granted access to Sasuke's quarters, but still managed to get in every single day, even past the anbu guard.

It was like Sasuke was a stray kitten that they had picked up but weren't allowed to keep.

From what she had heard, Sasuke had received a lot of pampering already while at Orochimaru's, but this had to have taken the cake... and from what Tsunade understood of his personality, there was no way that he could be really pleased about being fussed over so. Perhaps he felt a little bit guilty? Or maybe the kitten liked them back.

And Tsunade was willing to bet on the latter. In fact, that was what she did, in a sense.

-

"WHAAAT?! SASUKE(-KUN) IS TEAM LEADER?!"

"I don't need to hear it in stereo," Tsunade complained as she looked down at the mission details. "There's not much more we can do to ensure that Sasuke is loyal to Konoha than we have already, but at least this way he can prove those loyalties, at least a little bit. You three are used to working together, so I would hope that at the very least, you two would be able to figure out if something is up."

"Well, that's true, but..."

"Technically you two will act as his bodyguards, while he is the one to carry out the mission.You will be paid accordingly, of course. Depending on the situation, you are to follow his orders. There will be absolutely no beating each other up, no 'extra training', and no Chidori."

"But what if--"

"NO."

"But--!"

"Naruto. I said NO. N-O."

"Shisho, what if we get attacked suddenly? There still are people that may be out for Sasuke-kun still..."

"That's what you two are his bodyguards for."

"... ... ..."

-

"It's great to be outdoors again, but this is kind of lame..."

"Naruto, you know that's not Sasuke-kun's fault."

"Yeah, I know, but it still sucks! Why can't we get something more spectacular than a C-class mission?"

"You're lucky we're even getting a C. Technically this is Sasuke-kun's mission."

"Hey, I'll get that!"

Sasuke had been trying to set up the fire while the other two were busy talking, but no such luck as Naruto had rushed to 'help', trying to grab the cooking tin from him.

"...I can cook for myself, you know."

"Yeah, but what if it's poisoned or something happens? We can't let anything happen to you!"

Sasuke simply looked at him, then turned back to continue cooking.

Naruto continued to complain while Sasuke ignored him.

Sakura tried desperately hard to not squeal at the thought of what was going on. Tenatively, she asked, "Sasuke-kun, c-can you make my portion for me too?"

Sasuke nodded without looking back.

"Hey! What about me?"

"You can make your own food."

"Hey! That's not cool!"

"Hmph."

-

"What is this? I thought I told you no injuries." Tsunade looks from the report, which said that everything went smoothly, to the visible marks that still showed on Sasuke. Naruto showed no marks, but his clothes were still a mess (whereas Sasuke's looked clean).

"Well, you see, I kind of tripped, and--"

"I was talking to Sasuke."

"HEY!"

"...It's as he said. He tripped and we both fell."

Tsunade tried not to roll her eyes. Well, it wasn't as if she hadn't anticipated that they would fight, rules or not rules.

"Since you both can't seem to follow orders, from now on, Sakura will be Team Leader."

"WHAT?! WHY?!"

"Urusai zo, usuratonkachi."

"You shut up!"

"Yesss! I kick ass!"

"Enough of that. Sakura, as Team leader now, both you and Sasuke will be assigned more difficult missions. Also for this reason, there will be someone to replace your position as bodyguard. Formerly from the Roots Organization--"

"Oh, no."

"Hi. You can still call me Sai, if you'd like."


	12. Tsukiyomu Michi

Notes: I say no pairings, despite the possible hints. Meant to be for the Brotherhood universe, but there are a few discrepancies to prevent it from fitting in perfectly... not that you can tell or anything, because it's a confusing series. I don't know if you can call it more than an illusion. The symbolism is a bit more direct than the dream stage, but not explained. Which is kind of strange since not even I'm sure what the symbolism means. I _think_ I know what the rain (water?) and sunshine (fire?) are about...

Theme: They say a portion that changes inside of you is a portion that acknowldges its own death...  
Genre: Spiritual/Supernatural

**Stage 17: Tsukiyomu Michi**

Sasuke ran from room to room, looking for shadows that would no longer be there. The wood creaked and it varied from rotting beneath his feet to the well-kept wood that his little feet remembered, yet he walked along it with sandals as large as his brother's. The dust choked him, even as the memory faded from him, turning from rain to sunshine.

_I took them from you_, he thought he heard him say.

He was aware of Neji's look of concern after him, but he could not afford to pay him any attention. All his attention was focused on the dust that seemed to fall from the roof, the moon that seemed to shift from red, to crescents, to darkness, and then to the sun, and then finally to the hospital, where the air was thin and metallic. In there, Sakura told Naruto that this was an aftereffect of the genjutsu, which Sasuke fully understood himself. After all, Itachi had always meant for him to understand. He just couldn't explain it, it seemed.

The leaves of the ferns above him rained dust, just like the corpses of bones beneath his feet as he sat on the log in Sound. He fell down in pain, as Naruto had long since passed out before him. The sky was blue, unlike the darkness of leaves that it was in his memories.

"_Treasure him_," his brother voiced, eyes already glazing.

The dirt he had grasped with his fingers turned to water along a stream, with planks and fire. Fire and more fire, even though none of the Uchiha residence had ever burned, everything did. Whatever Naruto touched burned. It was better than rain, but not the same as the sunshine that faded away, and yet would be back years later.

_"You never had a family!"  
"You are my family!"_

Sasuke sat on the porch while Neji offered an awkward greeting. "I knew he meant a lot to you, as to all of us, Hokage-sama."  
Sasuke looked towards the sky, where birds flew. "He knew it. My brother. He even warned me that he was going to die."

The sun seemed to crumble beneath him, like he was standing on the reflection of the water, but he knew it wasn't true. It didn't happen yet. And yet he knew that it would... and that this would be okay. Everything would be as Naruto had promised, as Sakura had hoped, and as Kakashi had not dared to voice his thoughts for.

The darkness would soon crumble too.

Sasuke walked from the darknes, clutching his arm. But it was not like that this time, and this time, he would die. It was his turn to die. It snowed, like ice. The wood beneath him felt like a bridge, but he knew it smelled like sunshine, so that was not right. The blood seeped into the wooden planks, but the sky would not stain a similar red.

So this was the Tsukiyomi of a dying person. He would do the same when it became his turn to go.

The birds flew freely in the skies above, even as the dark waters have not been resolved. But he knew that they would be, someday. That was what Naruto had promised, after all.

_Treasure him, for he is your only family now_.

Around them, the wooden planks crumbled in uncertainty even as the sky shone through. But Sasuke knew. Sasuke knew. That not even Itachi could predict the future. Not like Naruto could. And he would believe in that, until his last breath.

And who knows -- maybe he would be alive to see it even after that.

His last sight was of Sakura desperately staring into his eyes, looking for life. He let his questions die with him, joking with Sasuke about his new responsibilities. He had closed his eyes then, even as he tried to smile. His hands did the talking, though. His grip was strong, though his voice was weak.

The sun shone outside then too.

Itachi was silent as Sasuke interlaced his fingers with his as the rain began to pour around them.


	13. It's All Small Stuff

Notes: I think I regret looking for a reason to get back into Naruto after Phoenix Wright (Gyakuten Saiban) owning me for about two weeks. I found my reason -- the same reason that caused me to write some of the chapters in here. Augh. No, I don't know of any unsweetened green tea ice cream in existence. A lot of random things in my life features in this. Mostly dialogue. Lighthearted doujinshi-esque.

-

**Stage 18: Don't Sweat The Small Stuff; On The Phone**

"I know you don't have a girlfriend, so why do you keep fiddling with that thing?"

Naruto looked up from his phone to see Sasuke's I'm-not-pouting-so-don't-even-say-I-am-'cause-I'm-not expression and hid a grin. "I'm not fiddling with it, I'm writing a text message to Kiba, telling him about the game that he wanted. He told him to text him if I saw a good price somewhere."

"I thought girls only texted each other constantly like that."

"Kiba may be a girl, but I'm not! My phone is blue, unlike his!"

Sasuke's snorted. That was one of the stupidest denials he had ever heard so far. Everyone knew Kiba got his phone from Hinata. Still, he skipped the impending argument and decided to talk about something else. "What game did he want, anyway?" Sasuke didn't know games, but if he was going to be dragged around shopping by Naruto, he might as well ask what they were looking for. He couldn't tell with the way Naruto was rambling on and on and on...

Naruto's grin got even wider. "Nintendogs."

----

"You should get one too, you know."

Sasuke looked boredly out the window, milkshake (green tea, unsweetened) in hand. Naruto was still fiddling with that phone of his.

"Why would I need one? All I need to do is get ahold of you or my brother to get everything I need. If not you, you can do the talking for me."

Naruto sniffed, punching in something. "I'm not your butler."

"You can call the dry cleaners for me while you're at it."

"Do you know the nu--hey! I just said I'm not your maid!"

"Butler."

"Whatever! Why don't you get your own phone, anyway!"

"I don't like to be bothered. Besides, you and my brother both have one."

"You act like we're going to do all your calls for you!"

"Weren't you?"

"Well...yeah... But you still should get your own phone!"

"What for?"

"Well... how does your brother pick you up?"

"I call him."

"How?"

"Payphone."

"Doesn't that get expensive? Oh wait, you're rich. Nevermind. What if I want to call you?"

"You don't. I call you."

"That sucks! You never call me!"

"That's the point."

"You suck!"

----

"You know, if you have the money to buy me ramen every single time, you could at least get a phone. I'd even program it with mine and Itachi's numbers for you." By now they were walking on a bridge overlooking a major street. The lights were bright and the sky was light enough to give it a somewhat somber (or perhaps romantic?) feel, but paid any attention to this.

Sasuke snorted as he walked past. "You put the Precure theme song on your own phone. As if I'd let you near mine."

"Hey, what's wrong with Pretty Cure!"

"It's even more girly than a pink phone, that's what."

"No way! There's nothing more girly than a pink phone!"

"Can you prove it?"

"Of course I can!" And sure enough, the song began to play. "Hello? Hey, Shika! Just the man I wanted to hear! Can you tell me an' Sasuke what--"

Sasuke blinked at Naruto's expression. It was somewhere between disgruntled and confused.

"Sasuke, do you know if Shikamaru's a mind reader? He said something about you being with me here and then he hung up."

Sasuke got the vauge idea that there was something wrong about that statement, but decided not to press the issue.

----

"For the last time, I told you I'm not your slave and you're not my master!"

"I'm not your master; _slave_, I'm your tutor. You still have to do everything I tell you to."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do."

"Do not! You're not my tutor!"

"What."

Naruto grinned, finally looking away from the stupid phone. "You're my friend!"

Sasuke could only sigh.

----

"--the witness _does_ know something about the case! As a matter of fact, the very numb--hey, my phone. Huh? I don't know this number... whoops, it's on already. Eh heh. Hi?"

_Dobe._ Sasuke tried not to smile at that. _Uses his phone constantly and still manages to not answer it properly._

"Don't call me that!"

Sasuke blinked. Did he say that out loud? Mentally clearing his throat, he took a strangled breath and asked his question.

"If I get a phone, will you promise to keep my number a secret, even under the threat of death and torture?"

----

The next day Naruto couldn't keep the grin off of his face. "Hey Shika! Guess what?!"

Shikamaru took one glance at his face then turned back towards the clouds. "No, I don't want to know."

"What! Why?!"

"Let me guess -- the reason you're such a bucket of sunshine has to do with Sasuke from last night?"

"Hey, how'd you know about that?"

"Then I definitely don't want to know."

"Hey!"


	14. Sunshine Blue

Notes: Yet another that probably should be for the Brotherhood universe. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but like almost all of them, they wrote themselves.

-

**Stage 19 - A Breath Of Sunshine And Cloudy Skies**

The darkness that rippled would have been light if it had been filled with light.  
But everything was red, and nothing made sense here.  
No answers would be found here.

The grass rippled with the sound of the wind, but the shadows under his feet were of fire.  
The sky was a clear blue, but the sun could not be seen.  
And yet, it was obvious that this was the land of the sun.  
The blood stuck to his feet.

The flowers had sakura peatals, even though they were not trees. Just weeds.  
When the wind picked them up, their petals scattered, flying around him.  
One touched his right hand and both feet and spontaneously caught on fire.  
They left scars that looked like marks.

The ground threatened to take him up, absorb him, absolve him. Hide him.  
He looked away; threatened to torch the ground if it dared to reach up to grab him.  
He looked up for the sun again, and it threatened to show its face.  
He hid in the shadows, as a ninja should.

But even the shadows melted away from his fingers like sand,  
And he couldn't see where the ground took it all.  
He wanted it back, but then found his brother here.  
After that, there was no time.

Now, years later, hours later, decades later, eons before...  
There are no stars here, but there are no clouds either.  
There is nothing to cast a shadow on anything and nothing to hide from.  
His skin tingled from a lack of scratching.

Eventually, he sat on the ground, and played with the flowers a little.  
The sun shone within all of the plant life there -- the grass, the flowers, the trees...  
Then, one day, he smiled.

That was the first day he had ever felt alive.


	15. The Northeastern Sky

Notes: Kind of out-of-character, definitely. He's not a very melancholy type of character, deep down. I don't know many myths or anything about the night sky, so I'm forced to keep it vague. I don't know why I chose northeast, but maybe it's a personal preference.

-

**Stage 21: The Northeastern Sky**

Naruto never did tell anyone of the days and nights that he would spend looking at the moon, watching it. Watch to see it rise, set; wax, wane. The perverted hermit thought that it might have been an aspect of his seal, but he never did tell anyone what he thought about during those times. During those times, he would just shake his head when spoken to, and continue to watch.

At first, the hermit tried to distract him from looking at the moon with training and food, but Naruto could not be destracted for long. Then trying another tactic, he told him stories and various trivia about the moon -- about what it was made of, of what a blue moon was, and various fairytales involving it. Naruto listened as he watched, because he did not know any of it. Even still, it gained only half of his attention as he looked on its bright face.

Eventually he gave up and let Naruto sleep or not sleep, depending on how it went. Sometimes he stayed awake the entire night, but sometimes he fell asleep early and woke in tears. Concerned, he asked advice from Tsunade, but she reassured him that while it was worrying, he could do nothing about it. He figured that maybe Naruto missed Konoha, but knew better than to go back before they needed to.

However, when they finally came home, Naruto still watched the moon. Kakashi and Sakura didn't exactly know why, but once in a while they would watch it with him. He appreciated the gesture and was sure that they somehow understood why he did this. They did not see the same things he did, but they understood somehow. Eventually, that left only one person to interrupt his moonwatching.

"Hey."

"..."

Even without reponse or noise, Naruto knew, without looking, that he had sat down next to him. After a bit of time spent doing nothing, his companion decided to talk. "Someone told me that you look at the moon sometimes, and they can't get you to do anything then."

"That's not true," he argued lightly. "I would do something if they didn't just leave me alone. But I'm still going to watch it."

"Why? Looking for something? ...Something you can't have?" He knew somehow that he had turned to look at him, perhaps analyzing him, but he did not look back to check. For all he knew, his eyes could be green or blue for all that he was paying attention, but somehow, he doubted it.

"You."

"Well, stupid, I'm right here." Despite the words and tone of the sentence, the voice was quiet and calm.

"I know," he whispered, but even before he could breathe in the breeze that caught his scent, everything became tears on his favorite jacket, and he was left to watch the moon again.


	16. Karma Chameleon

Notes: Ugh. Why I am writing this, I have no idea. If you don't get any of what is being talked about, don't worry. You're on the same boat as Naruto... and I barely know why I'm talking about this when this is based on pure imagination... or my weird mental world.

No, I don't know if I'll continue this. It was just something I cooked up one day. If I do continue it, ever, it will not make much more sense.

**Stage 15 - Karma Chameleon**

Naruto couldn't quite resist asking it.

"Are we there yet?"

And of course he couldn't just let that be. "It doesn't look like we moved anywhere, but I thought I saw a weird thing happen to the stars and my eyes twisted in on themselves for a while--"

Sasuke's sigh cut him off. The pilot pushed away the console and looked at him sideways. By now he was used to the inane questions and knew better to humor him than to just lie or tell him a joke -- Naruto would only believe him. Besides, it was bad "karma" to let a passenger off in a bad position, no matter how much of a pain in the ass they were. Not that Sasuke himself was such a newbie to the field as to be "superstitious," but he knew that it was important that he help out his passengers as best as he could.

However, for some reason that he didn't understand, this feeling was stronger than the mere sense of "time of arrival" that all pilots acquired over the years. Perhaps it was just headache from the shift in space, he thought. Giving him a headache or weird feeling. Or maybe it was just the fact that this blond idiot was here, bugging the hell out of him and refusing to leave.

Nevermind that he paid for his flight, but this was ridiculous.

"I told you travelling through space doesn't work like the screens that you watched."

"They're called movies. But yeah, but I didn't understand anything that you said."

"Did you understand the part that we would be there in an instant?"

"Yeah, but you said something about showing up anywhere..."

"I said that it was a random location generator, and that the pilot is what provides the perspective needed to focus the--"

"See, I don't get any of that. Why are we here, then? Why are we not somewhere else?"

"Because we're meant to be (stupid)."

"Does that mean we're where we're supposed to be?"

"No."

"But you just said--"

Sasuke sighed again, tugging on his own hair. It was a habit he had recently acquired, along with this passenger. "I said that we're here because we're meant to be, not because we're supposed to. There's a difference. That is why there's still a chance of people getting Lost."

"Lost? Like does something go wrong or something and they can't find their way home?"

"No one knows. It's usually different for everyone. There are a couple of stories of people even travelling through time, though... but it's all just stories."

"...am I Lost?" It was almost muttered; it was so low. Even still, Sasuke caught it. Quickly, he left his seat.

"Wait here," he told him, and left.

There was a lot that Naruto didn't get, but he found that he simply couldn't question it too much. After all, Ero-sennin was the one that found him, and told him to go on this journey. And now this abrupt guy that was the pilot of the ship that is transporting him around the place says that he's cleared to take him anywhere. Somehow, Naruto had a feeling that it wasn't because Ero-sennin paid for the trip, but more like... something else.

Naruto watched curiously as the pilot came back with something that looked like it could measure blood pressure or something. Except it had a screen, and Sasuke had already begun talking to it... after he put the strap on his wrist and thumb. Did the person live inside the box, like an AI or something, or was it a real person?

"Neji."

"Sasuke," the box returned. Then the image seemed to smile, but it was slight. "This would be easier if you were sensitive."

"Don't wish for what can't be changed. Now tell me about him."

Somehow, Naruto sensed that there was an unspoken 'please' to Sasuke's words, despite the voice. The image called Neji tilted his head slightly, as if listening for something. He had blank eyes, but a normal (calm) expression.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Well?"

"..."

"...Neji."

"..."

Sasuke started to twitch. "_Neji_," he said again, this time more forcefully. Neji inclined his head slightly, as if in apology.

Eventually, Neji decided on an answer. "...I cannot say."

Sasuke twitched some more. "What?"

Neji looked amused somehow, despite the lack of change in expression. "Do you always take things so pessimistically?"

Sasuke looked about to answer when Naruto interrupted them. "You should talk, Neji."

Neji directed his look towards Naruto and simply smiled. Naruto couldn't figure out what that meant, but Sasuke didn't seem to be surprised by either of the two. Instead, he seemed to be preoccupied by something else.

Sasuke sighed and shut off the monitor with a wave. He turned to his passenger, who had a blank expression. He was about to explain the situation as best as he could, when he caught himself.

"Neji can't figure out what your destination is," he finally said.

Naruto snorted. "I could have told you that. You said that this kind of chakra-like thing was connected to my spirit, right? And I don't know where I'm going at all. I don't even know how I got here..."

Sasuke looked irritated. "If you knew you don't know, then why are we _here_? Are you needed _here_?" The whole thing didn't make sense, and it was giving him a bad time. Why was there such an expense taken to transport him to someplace that neither of them didn't even know?

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. Let's see what's there. The very least I could do is go sightseeing."

"I'll go with you."

Naruto blinked. "Why?"

The pilot waved his question off. "That's too hard to explain." He stopped, then smiled slightly. "...I guess you could call it unfinished business."

Of course, he didn't explain that _Naruto_ was his unfinished business, but then again, it was "karma."


	17. Karma Accumulated

Notes: I didn't think I'd write more, but the idea came to me when I thought of what I wanted in a fantasy novel. Something nice, something soft. Something that isn't all about war and hatred and such.

I thought of what happens between these times, but then it occured to me that it wouldn't hurt to just act as if this were the second chapter in the series. Because I'd rather not take on two projects at once, I'm going to leave this as it is for now. (Even though it's not likely to make things any better or worse.) I would like to continue this, though. It's coming together, slowly. I'd rather take my time with the plotline, though.

I found out that I can move the chapters around to keep the chapters together. So that's what I'll do. My apologies if this screws with any readers' ability to review.

-

**Stage 15b: Karma Accumulated**

"I know this is a journey to help me discover who and what I am and why I'm here, but -- and this is no offense to you, but -- WHY AM I YOUR LOVER IN EVERY SINGLE SCENARIO THAT WE'VE PLAYED SO FAR?!"

Naruto's question wasn't unreasonable at all. In fact, Sasuke had been expecting a question much like this from the first, something he had been asking himself. Despite all this, he couldn't help but flush at the memories. He pretended to focus on his console, with all of its changing images and lights. "Look, I don't know why either, so don't ask me. Ask Neji if you think you can get an answer out of him," he answered sourly.

It was true that Naruto had been his lover, for lack of a better term, during the experience of every planet they had gone to so far. The first one featured them as a couple that had just declared their love for each other after a long period of friendship. The second had been worse, in that there _had_ been touching involved beyond the simple kissing of the first one, and it was all Sasuke could do to not to hide in his own quarters for the entire time in between planets and stops. Besides, Naruto didn't let him, demanding to know about this or that along the way, as he always did.

The third was not much better or worse, but by then...

"Why would Neji know?" came the question, breaking Sasuke's recollection (much to his gratitude). There was a sound of shuffling in the background, like his passenger was looking through his knapsack. For what, he had no clue. Neji's unit was in the back room, with the medical equipment.

"Because he's a 'karmic' reader (stupid)." He could almost _feel_ Naruto stop and blink at him. He tried not to sigh as he purposefully hit a few maintanence keys and decided to answer (the idiot) his question and save him the waste of breath. "It means he can read, to some extents, someone's destiny."

Naruto snorted. "As if Neji could ever read my destiny. He tried once, but failed miserably."

Sasuke turned sharply back at that. "I've been meaning to ask you about that as well. How is it that you know Neji, if you know nothing about karma?"

Naruto shrugged. "I remember him. Just like how I remember you."

The pilot frowned. "I don't remember you mentioning that before."

"I didn't?"

"No."

"Oh, hmmm... maybe I didn't recognize you until later...? No wait, that's not it..."

Sasuke continue to frown. He personally recalled no such thing of any surprise or recognition on Naruto's face when he first came aboard as a passenger. However, it was almost easier to say that Naruto showed no evidence of recognizing _anything_ before their first landing. He seemed to know Neji, but didn't seem to question why or how. And just now he says he remembered Sasuke himself, but that didn't make any sense.

"Are you sure you're one of the Lost? How do you know me?"

"I dunno. I dunno what the Lost is anyway. You said I was Lost, not me. As for what I remember..."

A tug on his bangs. Sasuke turned, stunned to see that Naruto was kneeling at the console and playing with his hair. His hair. He tried to swat his hands away, but his passenger caught his own and held it down. Sasuke continued to stare wide-eyed at Naruto, who smiled back at him.

"I remember you pulling at your own hair whenever you got frustrated." A tug for emphasis.

Sasuke turned away, a little flustered. "I don't remember doing that before meeting you."

"What do you remember before this, then?" Sasuke opened his mouth to answer that he remembered a heck of a lot more than his passenger did, but Naruto tapped his wrist. His ID bracelet. "I mean, what do you remember before you got this?"

Sasuke stopped at that. What did he mean by that? Of course he got it when he became a pilot, because ID bracelets also listed down one's occupation. It made things easier. And it wasn't like people would press their prejudices based on just what a person's ID said about them -- it never happened. But what happened before he got his bracelet? Why would Naruto even-- wait, that wasn't important right now. Answer first.

"Well, I imagine I must have studided a lot to get my license, if that's what you're asking. So that means I would have been in some sort of training before I gained this."

"I imagine? Would have?"

Sasuke shook his head as he checked the diagnostic results. What was so strange about his way of speaking? It wasn't as if he didn't have any idea, unlike his clueless passenger...

"But you don't know?"

He didn't bother to look up. "What? What are you talking about (stupid)?"

Sometime between his questions, Naruto had stood up from his side and now touched the side of his face, bringing the pilot to look him in the eye. The boy (man?) looked serious... and somehow self-assured. "You don't know," he repeated, sounding more convinced of himself. "You don't remember what happened before you became the pilot of this ship, do you."

Sasuke was just about to answer back to prove that he did, when he suddenly found that even a thought or image of his memory escaped him. Confused, he turned away, to think. Really think. He remembered having a family -- parents and an older brother -- but as for what they looked like... nothing. Friends, well, he knew Neji was a friend, somewhat, and Naruto--wait.

"I remember you," he whispered. He felt Naruto wrap his arms around him in reassurance. Comfort.

"That's what I was talking about. I remember you too." Then, as in afterthought, "Stupid."

"I'm not stupid," Sasuke whispered. "That's supposed to be you, usuratonkachi."


	18. Karma Wishing

Notes: First time I've felt the urge to write, and somehow, naturally, it's about this one. As time goes by, the story gets more coherent. This one is kind of... I dunno. I think I'm going to rewrite parts of it, though.

Later Notes: I wrote this a while back, during my blank. I didn't think it was good enough to put out yet, but looking at it now, it works well for this series of ficlets.

**Stage 15c: Karma Wishing**

Out of the blue one day, Naruto burst through the door of the parlor, asking why the Kage Bunshin won't work and how he wanted to do some training. Sasuke looked up from his book (not scroll) wryly answered, "Because it doesn't work that way here."

Naruto pouted. "And I'll bet you figured that out on your own, huh."

"Actually, I 'remembered' it."

"Remember" is what they called it between themselves. It wasn't as if they could call it anything else. It would always be a sort of afterthought, like a memory, but if they were really careful about their own thoughts, they would realize that they had never recalled such information before. And it wasn't like they were living lives like at each planet they went to, but almost dream-like in quality.

As if being awake was more of a dream than being 'asleep.'

Overall, it was a confusing trip. Naruto was actually better about noticing things -- he was the first to 'remember' and the first to realize that it was happening at all. Sasuke, though, suspected that his passenger (partner) didn't really understand what and how it was happening. He had his own suspicions.

And he was getting more and more pieces as they both 'remembered' more and more things.

First off, Sasuke put together that he really didn't have much of a memory at all, before Naruto had shown up. He vaguely recalled becoming the pilot of the ship, meeting Jiraiya and Haku the first time. He could only vaguely recall something Haku said, which was something like, "Because you're not lost anymore."

Because he was here.

Haku didn't say the last line, but Sasuke knew that was what he meant. What that meant, though, he didn't really understand. He knew, though, that his very consciousness was linked somehow to Naruto's. But not by thought, as one might think. Not yet.

"Sasukeee... what are you thinking?"

Sasuke pulled the finger that had been poking him and pulled him to give a quick kiss on the cheek. Embarrassed both by the interruption and his own actions, he stood up to put his book away. "Nothing. Just thinking."

Naruto made a face. "But I want to know what it is! You're always like that!"

And that was another thing. Not only being faster at it, Naruto always seemed to remember more of their past more than he could and did. Like he knew him better than he knew himself... well, considering how little Sasuke knew of himself at the moment, that couldn't have been that hard. He, on the other hand, felt everything as new and unnatural, and yet things would happen like habit -- habits he didn't even remember. And they only showed up when Naruto was around -- he certainly didn't have them 'before.'

Naruto, though... there were many times that Naruto knew what he was going to do even before he did it. Like that kiss. (He tried not to dwell on that, but it was necessary for his train of thought right now.) Naruto didn't seem the least bit surprised by his action, and yet he himself was. Sasuke could only wonder why that was.

"Anyway," he said, both to his inner confusion and Naruto, "Chakra doesn't work here. It's not as if you really need it to do anything at all. There's no war here, after all."

"Well, yeah," Naruto mused, thinking that it made sense, "But you can't expect me to know that. I've only been here for a short while -- not like you, who was here long enough to learn how all this stuff works. I just learned how to make coffee."

A good point, and an interesting story if it had to be told. Sasuke ignored that, however, and instead asked, albeit curiously, "Where were you before this?"

"Some other place that was kinda boring. But I was only there for a short while, until they kicked me out. And then I met you. Again."

Sasuke sighed. "So no one taught you anything?"

"Uh, no?"

"Usually, they put you through rehabilitation first," Sasuke said as he touched his head as if he had a headache. He didn't really, but it was habit. Another habit that only appeared after Naruto showed up.

Naruto titled his head curiously. The gesture struck Sasuke as endearingly familiar. "Is that what you went through?"

"I... think so," Sasuke replied, trying to recall what had happened to him. He vaguely remembered being taken care of, which was how he met Haku. Jiraiya... he didn't know what Jiraiya did. It had something to do with the ship and somehow he knew that Jiraiya had been watching out for him while he was learning things the basics from Haku. Jiraiya taught him the rest, strangely (or not-so-strangely) enough.

"I'll bet he knew that I would meet you here," Sasuke muttered to himself.

He tried not to smile at Naruto's confused face.


	19. Sandcastles

I realize I haven't written in a while. I've actually tried writing a lot of stuff... but never got far enough to be even close to complete. Ow. Sigh. Wanted to write while I'm on a sort of high right now... because I always seem to write about the periods of inspiration in my life. I'm not sure what chapter I'm on by now, so I'll leave that blank until I find out.

I'm usually uncomfortable with the first-person style. As usual, fiddling with the characters. AU.

**Stage 23: Sandcastles**

I thought he knew that dreams belonged with fairytales and that there was never a happy ending to any of it. I thought he knew, but he shook his head in denial.

"That's not true."

After a bit, he added with as much certainty as the first statement, "I'll make it happen."

I supposed that if you got enough people to believe and dream the same dream, they could move mountains together. However, with a world like this, where we kill for our livelihood, I think that's a bit unrealistic.

Then again, the world is filled with contradictions. The Hokages of Konoha have always been peace-loving, despite having to prove themselves in battle. Itachi, the one who massacred my entire clan, was the most staunch observer (after Naruto) of the "avoid needless bloodshed" rule. Naruto was the carrier of the most destructive force in this world, but was the most gentle, if a bit clumsy. And I...

Well, I was here, wasn't I.

"I thought you knew I never give up. That's my secret, you know. Even if it means I have to live a thousand lifetimes, or die a thousand deaths..."

"Reincarnation doesn't exist."

"Doesn't matter. I'll still do it."

I often wondered if he really lived in reality or not. Then again, I frequently wondered that of many shinobi, and not just Naruto. If anything, he helped make everyone around realize they were delusional with his own delusions. Useful.

Until they caught on, that is. Like a disease, only worse, because there wasn't any hope of cure.

I thought I had been the last survivor of such, but then I learned that in fact, I had been the first victim. I opened my mouth once, during that time of delusion, and he never let me live it down.

"I don't think you'll make Hokage at all. But I believe you will."

I would do anything to make sure that it comes true. I believe everyone will turn, as I have, and see. They'll see that anything is possible, and the world can change. Thankfully, I haven't ever said that out loud.

But I'm afraid that one day, the disease will worsen and I will.

By that time, I'm hoping that the disease will be an epidemic.


	20. The Wheat Fields

Notes: I forget what number this is already. And I'd say what happens to him after this, but that would be telling a secret. Hence the abrupt end. I'd say it's up to the reader to find out. Inspired by a set of angst that I read... and really, it's not like Naruto, but there it is. (Sasuke gets his own series of stuff like this -- I might as well pick on Naruto.) I know it's not apparent by the story, but the story begins with Sasuke dying to protect Naruto from Itachi. I make no speculations as to what happens afterwards.

-

**Stage 23: Beyond The Golden Wheat Fields**

In that single instant, he saw the full extent of what he had done. From the smoldering trees to the crushed boulders, none was so badly ruined as the expression he saw in the other person's face.

And it had been because of him.

Because he stepped in the way... he died for him. Because he meant well... for both of them. Well, maybe only him -- he wanted him back to have him back, whether or not he really wanted it. He never had the chance to ask.

Naruto fingered the flowers on the grave. They grew well, a strange purple that seemed to merge all the reds and blues in the world... although the sky was all bright blue and shiny.

He wanted to die. He still did, but he couldn't. There was still so much he had to live for. He wanted pay his penance with the torture of his soul (if he could be forgiven at all), but his morals retaliated. If you sit so long in agony, you cannot keep your promises to help others! So what if you mess them up?! His senses screamed at him, urging him to move forward.

The sunshine shone brightly, and the flowers waved back in a friendly manner. He almost crushed them in his hand, before he realized what he was about to do.

Cause more damage to innocents.

He was here to fix as much as he could do, not make it worse. Even if he had done more damage than simply suiciding and saving the world the trouble, even if he could no longer be whole for what he had done...

He couldn't tell which was more selfish -- the excuses to live, or the excuses to die.

Friends were concerned, but they had been there. They knew what had happened, and none said a word to him. Instead, they covered for him when he avoided paperwork or snapped to hard at a chuunin that failed to do his job. They took care of him, even though he knew it took more out of them than it should have. (Maybe he wasn't doing as good of a job if they have to help hold up his weight.)

Then one day,_It_ attacked.

And he realized suddenly that he could die to save his village and still be okay. But still, that something screamed how it was just convenience and didn't he deserve to pay for it rather than take the easy way out?

But maybe he would forgive him. After all, he would want him to take a break. This was unhealthy, he knew. Maybe... maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he should indulge a little...

And when he took a step forward, he stepped on a potted plant. The crushed flower bled at him, blaming him. They had pink and yellow petals, now wilted, dirtied, and some even unrecognizable to the caretaker that surely had loved them. Again he destroyed someone's affections.

But a flower blew (or maybe it had fallen off and he didn't notice?) in front of him, as if coming between him and the rest of the flowers. It was purple. It wasn't like the flowers he knew, but more of a lavender color. Kind of delicate, but had a sturdy stem, and lots of green covering it.

And suddenly, he knew.

This was his sign. A part of himself would always doubt whether or not this was the real thing -- after all, there was no verbal message. No sudden speaking from the grave, no written message on the walls. And yet, he was sure this was _his voice_, speaking to him.

_Live_, it said.

-

(_I forgave you a long time ago.)_


	21. Wildflowers

Talk: I thought I should write something more along the lines of fangirl than delusional. Not that it's not both, but hey. I also really have to figure out what number stage I'm on already. Also, all of this is pure fiction. If anything turns out to be true to something, it's pure coincidence. I'm pretty sure Wildflower is the name of the song I have stuck in my head.

I had a lot of fun writing this. I could have added a dozen more cat verbs into it, but I thought I was overdoing it as it was...

**Stage 24: Wildflower**

"Sasuke!"

The feline boy turned around to see his canine friend, Naruto, come up to him waving a woven crown of greenery and flowers. He would have been pleased to see that Naruto had brought him a crown like he promised he would, but the flowers were just too much. Trust Naruto to get at least /something/ wrong about it. When he complained about it, Naruto's tails didn't even stop wavering.

"What's wrong about it? I even got the right kind of leaves, which was really hard to find, you know!"

"But why did you have to put flowers in it? I can't wear something girly like that!"

"I thought it would look good on you! Right, Itachi-niisan?"

"It's quite fetching."

Sasuke didn't find that the least bit complimentary. However, both refused to let him take the flowers out of the crown and told him to either wear it or not at all. Eventually the boy opted for both -- he would wear it during the Walk and take it off before the Social. Well, he reasoned, at least the flowers were tiny ones.

It had been a long and exciting day for him, as he had woken up early in the morning to his mother making meat dumplings -- their family lunch for the day. (Naruto could come too, since canines could eat just about anything.) By the time he fully awoke his mother had finished and he helped her with the decorations around the house; all supposedly auspicious symbols for his growth into adulthood and their wishes for him. The pine stood for long life, the soft bark that decorated the porch symbolized happiness, etc. After that, had been dressing up the part, with his slacks, shirt, and longvest, all showing the Uchiha crest on them.

He personally thought all of it didn't really make any difference as to whether or not he was going to grow up well or not, but he did like the idea of having a small party. Not a large party like the canines do, but a small one. He had thought that Naruto shared his opinion of the whole symbolism thing, but then he decided the day before that he needed a crown.

"Iruka says that guys wear crowns too, so I'm gonna make you one!"

It would have been better if he didn't, since throughout the procession of the Walk, he had to keep pawing his bangs out of his eyes. His father not being there to see him act like a kitten had been the only good thing about his entire disappointment at his absence, he thought. His mother thought the whole image was adorable, though, and refused to let him take it off even when the Social was about to begin.

Kakashi commented on the crown as his fifth dance partner, rescuing him from the girls, who all cried and blubbered about something.

"I know that Uchihas are not really up to posturings and festivities, but it might be in your best interest to look up a few things before trying them out. Unless you really did know."

That did not sound good, Sasuke decided. "Know what?" he asked, despite knowing that he wouldn't want to know.

"Well, I'm sure that it will help your dealings with the girls some, since they'll be less likely to bother you..."

"Get to the point," he hissed out.

"Crowns symbolize growth, and flowers symbolize... well, many things. It just so happens that the cute little flowers in your crown show love and devotion... of the betrothed type."

"You're lying."

"Well, that would be nice too, but... Did I mention that the betrothed that gives the flowers is usually male?"

So then Sasuke quickly stomped off to the pier where Naruto was sure to be (he had one more year before he would be allowed to the Social as he had just missed the marker to be in Sasuke's age group) and almost knocked him into the water when he threw the damned object.

"Who said we were betrothed?!"

"What? No one did! Well, I hope not... 'cause that would be kinda..."

"Do you even know what that means?!"

"Not really. Hey, don't tell me you're just going to just waste this thing? I got the flowers because they taste pretty good..."

Sasuke watched with something akin to shock and horror as Naruto /ate/ his little symbols of love and devotion.

"What? Try some. They're good. C'mon..." And a blossom was waved at the young cat's lips, which was grudgingly accepted. (He might as well get something useful out of it, he reasoned.) It didn't taste too bad for a stupid weed. He wasn't sure if this meant anything, but if it did, at least nobody would know.

They say that ignorance is bliss.

And such was the start of their ignorant, but blissful, relationship.


	22. Color Cyan

Talk: Inspired by reading some book fiction.

**Stage: Cyan **

Sasuke put down his pencil with the rest of the class. Around him, students groaned as they stretched or sighed in relief. To the side of him, a voice called out to him.

"Hey Sasuke, wasn't the test really hard?"

"Not especially." He had stayed up all night studying for the test, as well as a few nights before then to go over all the material.

"Che," the boy said, slouching on the desk that wasn't his -- he actually sat a few desks farther away from Sasuke. "You always say that. I know you must have worked your ass for for that test."

Naruto was the only one to make that statement -- the others were quite happy to think that Sasuke was just naturally bright and talented. While he did have it to a modest degree, he himself was not that eager to put himself in the same category as Naruto and Lee -- the ones that failed half of their exams and practicals. It was only because they aced all the others that they weren't dropped from the system completely.

"C'mon," Naruto said, seeing that his friend wasn't feeling very social. "Let's go eat lunch on the roof."

Sasuke nodded, neatly packing his things.

x

"I don't see why they're making us study conversion theory. Who the hell gets that stuff? If we can do it, what does it matter?"

"Sakura and Shikamaru get it."

"I guess that means you don't either."

"Hmph." It was kind of a sore spot for Sasuke -- one of the few subjects in Chakra Sudies that didn't seem to come naturally to him... or at least normally. His only consolation was the fact that almost /no one/ (besides Shikamaru and Sakura) seemed to understand the subject. It was the prerequisite for a lot of classes, though, and so there were a few in the class that failed it the first time and were retaking it.

As much as it rankled him to be grouped with the almost-dropouts like Naruto, he was better at the practical than the theoretical. Memorizing figures, laws, and jutsu stances was easy, but knowing how each seal represented different chakra formations that were used to string together all the jutsus in the world? That was almost too far-fetched.

"Hey."

Sasuke looked up from his oyako donburi to see his blond-haired friend staring off into the distance, almost leaning over the railing.

"What do you think you'll be when you graduate?"

He shrugged. "It's not our place to decide that."

"I know, but what do you want to /be/, if you could?"

"...Police officer."

"Haha, you too? I wanted to do something like that. I heard they got a lot of paperwork, though... but I kinda wanted to do stuff for people." Naruto continued on before Sasuke could open his mouth to interject. "I know, I know, all graduates are given positions that will help the people, but I wanted something more /out there/. Like taking down thieves and stuff."

A long bit of silence followed after that as Sasuke mused on the idea of Naruto being a police officer... and Naruto thinking... whoever knew what. Despite what most people thought, Naruto wasn't always loudmouthed. In fact, Naruto wasn't called The Unexpected for nothing -- he sometimes talked about nothing all day long, and sometimes he asked or said things that were deeply profound. And sometimes he didn't speak at all. Being their third year studying together, Sasuke knew this well.

As for him becoming a police officer itself, Sasuke could kind of see it. A bumbling, yet kind and perceptive officer that carried old ladies' groceries. He almost chuckled to himself at the thought.

Naruto looked suspiciously at him, but went back to his staring at the Hokage Monument.

x

"It's going to rain tonight -- be sure to use an umbrella," were Naruto's parting words that day. Despite failing the Land, Nature, and Weather class they had last year, his predictions were never wrong. Some people just had special talents; things they just /knew/, but had no explanation for.

As a result, it was quite a contradiction to see Naruto at his doorstep that night, soaked to the skin and looking quite miserable.

"I know. I don't want to talk about it and it wasn't my fault. Can I come in?"

After he dried himself off and changed into a set of dry clothes, it turned out that the only thing wasn't soaked was his homework. They had dinner while Naruto went through his reading questions.

"What's technology-energy conflict?"

"Didn't you read the chapter?" It was a useless question -- of course he read the chapter. It just didn't mean that Naruto got any of it -- he only came here when he didn't understand something. So when Naruto gave an affirmative, he continued, "Each of the elemental chakra forces has been known to disrupt different kinds of technology. For example, the Katon jutsus can kill engines if the jutsu is done too close to one."

"Oh, so like how my radio dies whenever I practice my Fuuton jutsus... but what's this about theories?"

"It's still not certain whether or not it's caused because the element cancels the technology out, or if it's because the jutsu will draw on the elemental energy exhibited in it..." Sasuke frowned slightly. "Naruto, if you wanted a tutor in these things, Sakura is the better person to go to. She hasn't been nominated for medical research for nothing."

"I know, but I'd rather ask you."

Sasuke knew this, but didn't bother to ask why. Instead, he asked, "Then why do you ask her for help on Conversion Theory?"

Naruto smiled at him. "Because you don't want me to ask you," he said simply.

The answer lingered in his thoughts for the entire night and into the next day.

x

Sasuke had been debating to himself as to whether or not he should ask Sakura for help for the entire day. On one hand, he could use the additional help and explanations... but on the other, he was somewhat dubious of Sakura's tutoring abilities when it came to him. There was a chance, however, that Sakura would be very professional when it came to studies -- it was her pride and joy, as the only student in their year to have been nominated for a position /before/ graduation. It would be very unbecoming to spend all her time making eyes at him.

With that thought, he decided to approach Sakura after the Conversion Theory class, and found that she beat him to the punch.

"Um, Sasuke-kun, Naruto has been telling me to ask you if you wanted tutoring sessions for this class, but I told him that you were doing so well in this class anyway that there was no reason..."

Sasuke sighed and looked at Naruto, who smiled back. "...I was going to ask you for help anyway."

"Really?!"

"Yes. All I've done so far is memorize the motions for this class... I don't actually understand very much of it." The last part was almost muttered, but it was more than clear enough for the almost-empty classroom.

"Oh, well then I can help! The most important thing to keep in mind is that chakra formation requires a symbolic physical counterpart and in most cases, it's more the pattern and sorting of the seals that determine the element of the jutsu rather than the elemental disposition of the seals used..."

Sakura talked the entire lunch hour in her enthusiasm, and the three of them ended up having lunch in the classroom.

x

"Naruto."

"Oh, hey, I was just going to look for you." The other boy watched as his friend pulled a serious face and opened his mouth to say something... then almost sigh and start again.

"Naruto...stop doing these things just to cater to my ego. I know that's what you've been doing, and I think it's enough. I can learn to handle things for myself."

Contrary to what Sasuke had expected of his friend, Naruto's reaction was less than negative or withdrawn. Instead, he seemed... amused?

"Does this mean I can ask you out and you'll actually tell me yes?"

"... ... ...What?"


	23. Brother's Ex

Talk: Modeled somewhat after Koubashii Hibi, by Ekuni Kaori. I kind of ran with it after a while, though. It was mostly just to see if I could write some sort of drama, and not like... yeah. I decided to leave it where I did. I mean, I could have done the full cycle of running to him and stuff, but...

--

**Stage 080725: My Brother's Ex-Boyfriend**

"Sasuke, you can't keep doing this," Itachi said as he straightened the couch in his tux. Sasuke for his part, sulked on the side. The rest of the room partially showed the damage -- flowers broken and scattered, cups upturned and water all over the carpet...

"Just accept it as is for now, and I'll tell you the rest when I come back."

--

Sasuke glared at the bride next to his brother. She was beautiful as she smiled up at his brother, and his brother smiled back, just as if nothing was wrong.

--

"Ano sa, ano sa, I kind of get the feeling you don't really hate her, you know?" his best friend from his side at the ramen stand. "Like, your glare wasn't all there or something."

Sasuke glared at him as an example, but Naruto just rolled his eyes. "Don't even. You didn't even glare at her like that. Not like how you glare at me too, which is different from everyone else. Kind of like..."

Naruto thought to himself, not noticing Sasuke's defensive hunch. "Oh, like you can't hate her, but you want to! Like how you hated him at first too, for taking your brother away from you..."

Sasuke stared at the ground.

"It's because she's perfect... and I don't even understand why.

He was perfect too..."

--

"You probably don't remember me. I was the waitress that always served your lunch when you went with Itachi-kun and Kakashi-san's dates." She smiled slightly at his expression of surprise. "I had thought not. I was their long-time friend as well... both of theirs."

"Then... why...?"

"I loved the both of them. I couldn't really choose... until one of them chose for me." She smiled slightly then, gracefully and softly. Her she tucked one of her long tresses back behind her ear before adding,

"I'm kind of glad he did..."

--

"Why did you give up on him! To her?! You were fine together! _He actually smiled around you!_ And don't give me this crap about how 'Itachi needed an heir'... I could have taken care of that as well!"

"Look, Sasuke, I know you don't understand, but--"

"_Then explain it to me! I'm not a kid anymore!!_" Sasuke all but screamed. Heaving, he added in a lower voice, "Explain to me why you had to leave us... me..."

--

"You know what your problem is, Sasuke?" Kakashi over his bento, pointing his chopsticks at him. "Well, both you and your brother have the same problem."

Sasuke sullenly looked at him, folding the latest letter from Naruto back up.

"You two never notice what's the most important to you until it's gone. That's why I set him up... and you are pushing all of this onto me. All your fears, your desires, your frustrations..."

"Don't lie to me," Kakashi said as Sasuke opened his mouth.

"Well, in your case," He continued as if Sasuke hadn't almost interrupted him, "It's even worse than that -- you don't notice even _when_ it's gone..."

--

_Dear Sasuke,_

_I know you were kind of hurt when I left, which is why you were so cold to me for the last month of school together. I know it's kind of mean for me to say this, but I hope dad isn't re-elected next term, so I can go back to school where you are. I really really miss you, and I know you miss me too, even if you won't admit it to yourself._

_I'm eating better now because of that book you gave me. Again, sorry for not telling you sooner. I learned how to make omelets and we're eating breakfast together everyday now. It's pretty cool, but I still miss breakfasts at your place, with your mom and brother and you._

_When I come back, I'll cook you something. I still like ramen, though._

_Naruto_

Sasuke almost crumpled the paper, but then thought twice about it, and carefully folded it and put it back in its envelope. He then placed it under his bed and tried to forget.

--

It was only once a month Naruto saw anything from Sasuke, but when there was, it was usually a trinket of some sort. A discount ticket for two movie passes, a cellphone charm, vitamins... it was always something different.

Once there was even a textbook. Naruto had flipped through it idly, wondering what Sasuke had done in school while they went over it.

Another time was a painting, which he hung in his room. It took quite a bit of work for him to find Sasuke's signature scrawled somewhere in the back of the painting... and his grade for class. It was the sunset. Somehow, he thought it reminded him of him.

There was never any letter with these items. Just always a singular object... as if he boxed up items and sent them to his long-distance friend on a whim.

He was kind of concerned by the lack of anything more personal, but in a way these items _were_ personal. He imagined he was seeing parts of his life... even though they were separated by such a distance. Even still, it still felt like Sasuke was still hurt... otherwise he would have sent something more...

Like another cookbook...

--

It became kind of a habit for Sasuke to hang out at Kakashi's. He used to stay over once a week during middle school, but this went up to twice during high school -- Saturday and Sunday. Kakashi would always pick him up from Saturday classes, and Kiba would always make a crack about a princess's knight in _rainbow_ armor -- Kakashi never did wear normal clothes.

It seemed like it was only on weekends he could relax, since he had no one else to talk to anymore. His brother was gone, his best friend moved away, so all he had left was his brother's ex-boyfriend.

It wasn't as bad as it sounded, really. Kakashi helped him study, run errands, or even told stories about his brother that he never knew about.

Like now...

--

"Isn't it kind of messed up for you to leave your newlywed wife all alone?"

Itachi looked up from where he and mother were enjoying watermelon and smiled lightly. "No, it's fine. She and I both work long hours, but we rarely have time off together, so I might as well come back here."

"Still sounds kind of wrong..." Sasuke muttered, walking off to put his bag away.

--

"You should send it to him."

Sasuke jumped. "What? Who?"

Kakashi looked amused as he leaned over him to get a better view of the item on display. "You're thinking that it would look good on him, right? You should send it to him."

"I-I" _Was I really thinking that? I was just thinking that it matched his eyes... not look good _on_ him... right?_


	24. Feminity

Talk: This is a similar vein to many things, but much more personal. I think it's a two-parter, but I'm not sure. It's more of a focus on gender issues than anything else.

And one more side note: People apparently do not know this, but with Japanese (at least this is what I was told when I was growing up), it's not only sons that can pass on the family name -- the daughters can too. It's not option a, b, or c, so it's not used that often. It's been known to happen often enough, though: Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Makioka Sisters (aka Sasameyuki), and my high school history teacher.

--

**Feminism**

_One day, Sasuke woke up to discover that she had turned into a boy._

_At this, she didn't know what she was supposed to feel, except perhaps __screwed over by fate. Was this some sick version of someone's idea of a blessing? Or maybe it was a curse for all those times that her mother let her get away with acting like a boy..._

_And it was going to be her first day as a genin._

--

The girls clamoring around me -- now a _he_ -- put me on edge. I had somehow made it through dressing myself like normal, doing my business, and preparing my lunch. It was a good thing I woke up so early in a panic, since it took me forever to do even simple tasks without losing my grip on reality.

All my logic and steeled nerves told me that if I acted like normal, the girls or the teachers wouldn't notice a thing. Not only was I too young for sex to be told apart so well, but it wasn't like everyone would see my dossier. Or bother to, for that matter.

I rarely spoke, so it's not like anyone ever knew that my voice changed slightly.

Or so I tried to tell myself as I grew more and more uncomfortable with the cooing and clamoring. Did these girls attach themselves to any masculine image, or did they really think I was a boy all this time?

I tried not to think about the sour taste in my mouth at _that_ thought.

--

In this instance, my tomboyish attitude saved me.

_He kissed me! Idiot germs! In my mouth!  
_

But that was about the only time it did. After the team formed, the moron started to make comments about how I looked like a girl and acted like one in the way I sniffed at his antics. Sakura defended me about it being a sign of good breeding, unlike him, but I was too pissed off to hear it.

_"What was that?"_ I threatened.

"You want me to repeat it?"

_"Yeah."_

"I'll say it as many times as I want -- You look like a girl, act like a girl, and probably are a girl underneath all that. I'll bet you don't even have a dick!"

I would have ripped his face off if Kakashi didn't break us up in time.

How dare he! And how dare he insult me like that! To insult my own femininity (which I was at odds with already thanks to having a sex change (I ignore the grimace at this thought)) and say I was a _girl_? When I frickin' changed into a guy _for real?!_

Why the hell were my previously few feminine traits now suddenly what made me a woman instead of a man?! What the hell was up with that?! Why now?! Why not earlier?!

And on top of that, I didn't know if I even _wanted_ to be a man in the first place!

--

"Maa, I don't know if you have to look that angry about it. And you don't have to try to kill me with your glare either. I'm just saying that maybe he payed you a compliment?"

Some frickin' compliment.

"Well, okay it wasn't a compliment, but at least try to temper yourself. I know you have your pride in your _heritage_, but you could learn to use it too."

It took two more minutes of glaring before I snapped out of it and _realized what my unreliable and always-late supervising jounin was saying_.

"_When?_"

"Well, perhaps when you mature more, but if you're talking about your heritage," he seemed to take extra care in not making it sound like a big deal, "I found out about a month ago."

"..."

"It's common practice for supervising jounin to go over their papers, and you're not the only one I looked into closely."

_What?_

--

The secret that the other person in my team turned out to not be so liberating, as I would find out years later.

In the meantime, I was jealous.

In my hope that someone else would have a gender issue as large as mine (which I still didn't know what to do with, but for now acted as the proud boy I was), I watched both of my teammates closely. I was completely envious of how Sakura could get away with acting in a masculine fashion to Naruto and he would _never_ question _her_ femininity. But no, any mistake _I_ made to act like the girl I originally was hammered into being, I was poked at for.

And then, in an incredible display of hypocrisy, Naruto was more emotional than _I ever could be_.

The only thing that kept me in better graces with Sakura (besides the fact that she seemed to have a crush on me) was the fact that her acting sweet and innocent to me actually helped soothe my nerves.

At least compared to _that act_ I was definitely a boy.

Compared to Naruto, this was debatable. I didn't know whether I wanted to punch his face in for his comments or be grateful that his idea of masculinity was so strange.

It turns out that while I was embarrassed at my own display of emotion in Wave country, Naruto was embarrassed by the fact that he felt like I saved him like a _girl_. If that wasn't ironic I don't know what was.

How could his masculinity take a hit when mine took a hit every single day just because I _breathed_?

--

Everyday I woke up and said my prayers, I also apologized to my mother for turning out to be a boy when I know she wanted a beautiful daughter instead.

And some days, I apologized to her for actually getting _used to_ being a boy.

I really didn't know what to say to my father, but I figured that I'll cross that bridge after I die from my revenge against the one who killed my family.

While I got used to doing vulgar necessities (after several months of being a boy, really you have no choice), there were certain other aspects that I didn't always get used to.

One was being topless. I would have never thought that this would bother me, since I resented not being able to have that freedom when I was a girl -- girls didn't have any chests, so what did it matter if they dressed like boys? Instead, going without a top (unless it was some area like a bath, at which point I spent most of my time and energy to focus on relaxing more than looking at myself or anyone around me for my own self-preservation) made me so paranoid (more than I already was, that is) that I always just kept whatever shirt I was wearing on, no matter how hot it was.

And if I was dying, I wondered how Naruto survived wearing that _jacket_ sometimes. I swear he's the only one out of all of us who would survive wearing formal wear in the summer.

Another was cooking. I wasn't that good at it, but it relaxed me, being one of the few feminine things I could do and keep my cover. While people would have thought this meant that I would wholeheartedly pursue it, it was more like a love/hate relationship -- I loved it because it made me feel better, but I hated it because it did.

And I refused to cook where anyone would see... which meant that all the cooking was regulated to Sakura. Once in a while this duty fell on Naruto as well, who grumbled about me but enjoyed the tutoring that Sakura felt that she was obligated to give since Naruto was so hopeless at household things.

I didn't know if I would be able to handle trying to teach Naruto how to cook. Luckily, Kakashi never pushed this as some sort of teamwork building exercise. Actually, he never pushed us to do anything to begin with. He made us push ourselves.

Over the months I learned more about what it meant to be a guy. I learned that I didn't actually have to walk differently from what I used to, but I did have to worry about girls.

Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about boys. I wouldn't have been able to handle an interest in anyone. Naruto would later accuse me of being asexual, but the exact problem with that was that I _wasn't_, and damned if I _ever going to go there_.

It's not like I planned to live long enough to pursue a relationship, let alone consider one, anyway.


	25. Masculinity

More Talk: I thought I'd mention what Sasuke doesn't in this story, which is anything not dealing with gender identity. So she doesn't really mention too much about her training (which she was doing even before the change) or her search for power. I don't know if I'll be able to do more than hint as to what her other problems are.

Unfortunately, I can't write too well about instability as I could before. Instead, I have to write this as if it's not totally Sasuke's point of view, but a rewriting of such.

And about the crickets, I don't know. Something in my mind said crickets are important.

I'm skipping a lot of key spoilers. I'm sure you've noticed that by now, but it's even worse for this one. For the sake of the story, I'm pushing everyone up to 1718 by the end.

* * *

**Feminism: Stranger in a Strange Land**

"It turns out that you have a chakra imbalance in your system. With that, it's surprising that you even survived the curse seal," Kabuto told me, eyeing a syringe and a scroll diagram.

"That makes him all the more worthy," Orochimaru hissed behind me and reached for my shoulder. "I'll raise you to be a fine container. You were wasted in Konoha."

I didn't disagree with that, but I shrugged off his arm in distaste. "Just give me the power I need and we'll be fine." At least I would be -- I wouldn't have to deal with this body afterwards. Orochimaru could keep it.

As I began to stalk back to my room, I vaguely heard Kabuto begin to speak.

"Since he's imbalanced at such a young age, we have to be extra careful..."

--

I didn't know what he meant, but I realized when I lost my voice for a week that whether or not this was what he meant, this was going to be something I had to deal with.

"How are your dreams, Sasuke-kun?" Kabuto asked me while he looked me over. I looked at him in irritation -- it wasn't like I was about to answer him even if I had a pencil and paper in front of me or my voice back. Ignoring me as he always did, he continued on.

"Any aspects in them such as blood, the moon, or crickets?"

_Crickets?_

I had been having dreams of bleeding, but not from my arms, chest, or legs, like I did when I first got here. The moon showed and I heard my brother's voice taunting me.

_Foolish little sister._

"Well, even if you aren't, expect them. They'll help you balance your _yin_ chakra out as you go through puberty."

"..."

"Don't complain, everyone has _yin_ and _yang_ in them. Because your _yang_ is strengthening to support a man's body, your _yin_ must also grow to support your spirit. This will happen in different ways. Personally, I hope it makes you more respectful to Orochimaru-sama."

I looked disbelieving at him. If I didn't respect Kakashi like that, what made him think I'd ever respect Orochimaru?

Luckily, Kabuto never did understand my facial expressions too well but somehow Orochimaru always did. I wondered if it had something to do with him having the spoken form of an old woman, but I was the last person about to bring something like that up.

--

It turned out that puberty was indeed going to be harsh on me. Because they were trying to rebalance my chakra system to take the change that had been forced upon me a year or two ago, I ended up experiencing three times more confusion and problems than most -- One for myself, another for being a male on the outside, and another being a female in my inside (my dreams).

There were some days I'd tear things down just because I could, and some days that I couldn't see anything as better than annoying. And some days that I sat alone on my pallet, trying not to think about the people I'd left behind. I couldn't make my prayers to my mother from here, and I sometimes felt like I was the brat that Kabuto always accused me of being.

However, it was because of this rebalancing that I was frequently excused for whatever I wanted.

They even gave me new clothes to wear. I didn't know what to think about them as they didn't look very neutral to me, but the two agreed that it was a good balance, and balance was important to grow powerful. Or so they reminded me often.

I really didn't believe them in this case, but it's not like I had much choice. The clothes were practical, at least.

What I happily remained ignorant about was the fact that due to this rebalancing, my face was actually getting _prettier_ as I got older, and not the other way around, to the amusement of Kabuto and the desire of Orochimaru.

It would take me a long time before I could explain to anyone that this was one of the few things in my life that I never felt was a curse. Of course, it was really one of the few things that I ever got right.

--

If I thought Naruto was bad, Suigetsu was worse.

Bad enough that he had been commenting that a match between Karin and I would be one made in hell, but also that I wasn't interested in Karin or any woman, which was true. And that I was a cat person more than a dog person. Actually, all of it was true -- what he actually said out loud, anyway.

What he insinuated was not.

It didn't help that Karin and Suigetsu had some sort of familiar hatred going on -- there were some days that I thought they were almost not worth the trouble. And then with the fact that I had to keep Juugo controlled, well, it made for some working on control for myself.

On top of that, Suigetsu had somehow made it his mission to make me seem more approachable. I didn't _want_ to seem more approachable -- it'd just mean that I would have to deal with someone actually wanting me. And considering that I really didn't want anyone after me in that way (or for hero worship, for that matter), I made it a point to be somewhat aloof.

It didn't work, but I tried anyway.

--

On the first day I changed back after _his_ death (I can't believe he thought that this would protect me), I failed to run away from Karin, who screamed when I was the middle of dressing myself.

I wanted to scream too.

"Well, this is something I didn't expect," Suigetsu said thoughtfully, eyeing me up and down.

"Orochimaru didn't either," I grounded out in a subtle threat.

I then turned to Karin, who still looked wide-eyed at me. "I thought you would figure it out first, though, since you are what helped Kabuto develop my treatment plan after being given the curse seal."

"No, I..."

"I told you, Karin," was Suigetsu's chime.

**"_No!_"**

I never did find out what happened after that, but it's none of my business anyway. I was just glad that they just rolled it over somehow. I had enough on my plate.

I was a woman again, but worse; I didn't know how to be one.

I pointedly didn't think about how much _more_ of an alien I felt than I already was.

--

As nervous I was with my new body, and even more nervous to be _alive_, Naruto was too. Nervous around me, that is. He was, however, absolutely _fascinated_ by my face. I didn't know whether to grimace at this fact or hide -- I had almost the same exact face as I did before the reversal.

My voice, which was one of the things that I was forced to get used to because it went from deep to _deeper_, now was the same as it was when I was a genin. It wasn't a woman's voice, but it wasn't a man's either. It was a boy's -- the only obvious remnant of my life as a growing boy. (The other one was dismissable -- my height.)

Naruto loved my voice too, which made me even more uncomfortable to be around him.

Kakashi thought the whole thing was hilarious which prompted me to beat the shit out of him. When he asked when I started swearing, I just told him that he made me start, because I didn't do it as a boy.

Perhaps to the surprise of everyone, including me, Sai's habitual disparaging comments didn't actually bother me. Perhaps it's because it's nothing that I already hadn't had to deal with with unwitting people, or maybe it's because Sai was so confused by me to begin with, I didn't know.

Or maybe it was because it amused me to watch other people's reactions on my behalf.

There were a lot of other changes that I didn't anticipate. One was that unlike my entire time as a male, my moods would actually stabilize.

Another was that I would still be forced to keep a balance, but in a different way.

* * *

The Hokage Monument.

I tried not to shift under my own thoughts, letting it known that I was nervous. My body still felt uneasy and rather irritable, still trying to get rid of the foreign chakra in my system.

"It's not like that, Naruto," I said as I looked at his imploring face. "It's not a matter of whether or not I can, whether I'll get through it or not. It's..." I grasped for the proper words, but none came.

He looked at me blankly and I internally sighed. He didn't get it -- not that I should have expected--

"You'll get through," he said suddenly. Assuredly.

I turned to look at the same sky he saw, full of ash and smoke. Like a funeral pyre.

"...Yeah."

For the first time, despite all the shit I had been through, I felt like I might be able to believe it.

The next day, I signed up for kunoichi teaching at the academy.

* * *

As one might guess, the last scene was a separate one. I didn't want to put a drabble all by itself, so I just stuck it underneath here.


End file.
